How to Escape the Prison of Depression?

Photo by Ye Jinghan on Unsplash

What role does depression plays when we are in prison?

I’m not talking about in the literal way of being in jail, as a matter of fact, there are at least three kinds of prisons that I know. There is the prison of the body, the prison of the mind and the prison of your soul.

Can you guess what is the Prison of Depression? Or better yet, how to escape from it?

Let’s first define and talk about the three of them separately to understand better my point of view.

The Prison of the Body

Staying beside 4 walls lying in a bed all day without being able to go outside, is (in a way) what we know to be in jail. We are deprived of our freedom to go out as a punishment.

Depression can make us feel like we are in this kind of prison by playing it’s part when we feel so bad, hopeless, unworthy and sad that we cannot feel enjoyment or any motivation to go outside of our bedrooms or getting up from bed which is even more common than we think.

We are creating our own little prison of the body when we let depression grow stronger everyday. And as depression gets stronger, this prison feels more and more real in our life.

Also, the other way around is true too. By staying there without the capability of going outside, (like being in jail) can affect us negatively and enhance or start to create feelings of being depressed.

Hence, the best way to not feel being in this kind of prison is by going outside even if we don’t feel any motivation to do so.

It would only apply if you’re not in jail of course…

The Prison of the Mind

Understanding and explaining this concept is a little more complicated than the previous one. Hence, I’d like to take the metaphor of a computer and the programs it has to better understand the relationship with depression.

If you think and act in a certain way regarding the situation; like being shy when approaching girls, certainly, you will approach them with a set of beliefs that will make you think and act in that certain way.

Your mind, having the program of “shyness” installed, will run this program when social interactions are happening or are about to happen, you’ll behave accordingly with that program.

Can you see now how Depression plays its part in the prison of your mind?

Depression installs the program of sadness, hopelessness, unworthiness, sorrow, emotional pain, sometimes even self-harm, and suicide ideation.

Mental illnesses and depression can be really harsh to beat. There’s always a glimpse of light but with the darkness and hollowness, it makes us feel, we tend to believe there’s none.

Under depression’s influence, we are being programmed to not see and feel the light.

Feeling incapable of beating depression and getting out of your mind’s prison created by it, is due to not knowing how to fight it because you don’t know yet how to use your available tools to fight efficiently.

The way to get out of this prison starts with knowing what needs to be done!

The Prison of the Soul

Ok, those programs are there and there are times it is good and healthy for them to run. Problems start when they run inappropriately and at all times.

It seems like the only program we can run is the one called “Depression” and there’s no time to run a different one.

Let me ask you this, if there’s a program, who is the programmer?

Programmers are the ones who create and decide what, how and when a program needs to run in the mind for the body to follow accordingly.

With time the programmer doesn’t need to actively start running the program because it can run by itself automatically.

Did you noticed how Depression plays its part in the Prison of the Soul?

The decisions you make on how to feel against any situation, the belief system you’ve installed and the lens you’re using to understand and process something, is like a programmer trying to deal with a program.

You need to be conscious and self-aware about yourself.

However, in spite of all of this, I’m not proclaiming the easiness of putting this into practice, on the contrary, I know how difficult it is to be self-aware of your own state and how to improve it.

Anxiety, depression and mental illnesses, in general, will make you believe there’s no hope because you cannot control them. Which is not true.

What about if we realize we are the programmers of our mind and body?

Once you realize that you are the programmer you will also notice that there is much more power within you to change the reality in which you are living.

Soul’s Prison is feeling like not having the ability to choose but once you understand and internalize that you create and run the programs you want in your life, you have plenty of options.

Next step from there is learning to choose the best option!

How Coming Back to Home Can Help Fighting Depression?

Back Home and Fighting Depression
Imagen de Crystal Procknow en Pixabay

I’m not talking about the physical act of coming back home, but that feeling we have when we get into that place we call home.

How is it that it can help us to fight depression?

You know, there is certain knowledge that we as normal human beings hold and it’s very difficult to transfer to another human being, in other words, is very difficult to communicate.

Feelings and emotions share that property too.

Feelings and emotions play a big part in how we live and walk in the world. For instance, a lot of us can relate with how certain things make us feel like; chocolate, a charismatic personage, a sexy body or even with Marvel Avengers Endgame and Game of Thrones.

Must of us can also relate to music because of what is being communicated and the way it makes us feel.

But how is it that coming back home can help us to fight depression?

Home Sweet Home!

What comming back home evokes in us, is the feeling of being safe. That we don’t need to keep the guard up and we finally can rest because we trust there’s no harm while being at home.

Let’s see it in real (and fictional) representation…

Getting back from work or college usually feels like a great relief. Soldiers are happy to go back to their country once war has finished. Batman has the Batcave to rest when he’s not fighting for justice in the city. In videogames, there’s always a place in which our character can recharge its energy and health.

Hopefully, you’ve got my point.

In the way I see it and the main reason I wanted to share this post with you it’s because I think “Home” is not just a place, but can be also an activity we like to do, a person or a group of people we like to spend time with.

That explains why we like certain hobbies, we feel we can relate to that activity in a special way; like we are in “our ground“. We love someone or are charmed by some people because we feel like we can trust them, we can let our guard down, we are safe.

Getting deeper into the way I see it, this also explains why we don’t like cheaters, liars, drama queens (or kings), attention seekers, narcissistic people, and evildoers in general. With them being around we don’t have rest and comfort, we cannot relax and feel at home but be alert all the time.

Conclusion

Being alert all the time is tiring, is really not sustainable in the long run. Creating a lifestyle that makes us feel at home as much as we can is what I believe would be how it can help fighting depression.

I know that I haven’t taken the exact same meaning of home, but it serves me well as a metaphor.

In a nutshell, we want to be at home as much as we can, and if we can create the feeling of being at home for ourselves and for others, then we are claiming back a lot of ground from depression.

The Captain of My Soul

With what I’m about to share with you many people feel inspired, motivated to fight against the darkness, their demons, and beat their depression.

Many people also have said that they get goosebumps for reading and/or hearing the poem called “Invictus” by William Ernest Henley.

Probably you’ve heard/read or somehow know about this one as it is one of the most famous poems in the world.

But anyways I thought I might share it with you here.

It reads as follows…

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me, 
      Black as the pit from pole to pole, 
I thank whatever gods may be 
      For my unconquerable soul. 

In the fell clutch of circumstance 
      I have not winced nor cried aloud. 
Under the bludgeonings of chance 
      My head is bloody, but unbowed. 

Beyond this place of wrath and tears 
      Looms but the Horror of the shade, 
And yet the menace of the years 
      Finds and shall find me unafraid. 

It matters not how strait the gate, 
      How charged with punishments the scroll, 
I am the master of my fate, 
      I am the captain of my soul. 

BY WILLIAM ERNEST HENLEY


It sounds inspiring right?

I mean, the idea of being our masters and controlling our fate something worthy of thought and admiration. I won’t deny that, but…

Now, to explain how I feel about this poem and give you my insight it would be better to describe it with a feeling of something we all can easily recognize.

Do you know that feeling when you are hearing a politician on TV that you cannot simple trust?

About how he will bring change for the better, and that he’d handle this or that matter differently?

Or what about that feeling when you’re hearing a sales pitch of how great this product is for you and something about it just bugs you?

Can you recognize that feeling?

Best way to describe what I felt when I read this poem is with those examples.

I feel like something is quite off, something inside bugs me that tells me not trust what have been said here.

At first, I thought that maybe I was being to hard but the thing is that I could not ignore my gut feeling about this poem.

Truth to be told, is because somehow I always knew the captain of my soul is Jesus Christ!

After doing a little research I have found that I’m not the only person that talked about this poem in this way.

I think that the message in the following link clearly depicts what I’m trying to tell you and probably in the words by another person you can understand better what I’m talking about.

After reading the notes on this webpage, I clearly understand how in this poem (line by line) the rejection of God is shown and even embraced.

By learning and reading the notes below I realize I wasn’t being that harsh against “Invictus”.

NOTES:

In the Poem “Invictus” by William Ernest Henley. Written in 1885, You’ll note that it is a rejection of God.

He recognizes that the world is DARK (Needs illumination).

The Darkness is world-wide (from Pole to Pole).

Rejects the ONE God. (whatever gods).

Recognizes he’s created with a soul.

He accepts circumstance (chance, destiny).

Doesn’t recognize / rejecting that God is in control.

He thinks this life is all there is,

just darkness (shade) on the other side of life.

Yet, that feeling finds him “unafraid”.

“It matters not how straight the gate”

He knows about the narrow path and the narrow gate,

but he doesn’t care (It matters not).

He knows that God’s Keeping a Record of His life.

“How charged with punishments the scroll”

And that God promises His wrath, anger and punishments

for breaking His commandments.

He’s rejecting the LORD as his final destiny.

“I am the master of my fate”

He’s rejecting the LORDSHIP of Christ.

“I am the Captain of my soul”.

One Last Thing to Mention

I don’t want to hard on people that love this poem and get inspired (or the goosebumps) to fight their depression or anxiety by getting this poem sealed in their hearts.

If it’s that you, then my best guess is that you haven’t met Jesus Christ as we Christians know him…

No hard feelings, but I hope that one day you give him (Jesus Christ) the chance to enter your life, so you can know him.

He already knows what’s best for all of us and sacrificed himself, so we can be saved… That’s why I’ve decided to made Jesus Christ the master of my fate and the captain of my soul.

Why Motivation Can’t Beat Depression

Motivation can beat depression any time and any day. Period!

I haven’t misspelled it. I know what it’s written in the tittle, and surely you will find this to be contradictory. Please, bear with me while I expose my case!

Let’s understand first what motivation is:

Motive + Action = Motivation

By definition from the most renown world-wide-web dictionary (google) 😉
is a reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way.

Motivation is (with my own words) the “why” we take action toward certain things. Plain and simple.

Divided by its nature. There are two kinds of motivation; one is intrinsic and the other is extrinsic.

Extrinsic motivation is the one that comes from the outside. An external factor that can create undesirable or desirable conditions for us to do something, or avoid doing something.

“If you don’t eat your vegetables I’ll be mad with you”

“Go to that party and you’ll be grounded younglady!”

“Not going to my job today and I might get fired, better to get dressed”

Intrinsic motivation is the one coming from the inside. An internal incentive that propel us to do something.

Take this quote from Steve Jobs as way to understand it better.

Photo by Tobias Bjørkli from Pexels

Quick fact! When we generally speak about motivation we are talking about intrinsic motivation.

Quick fact #2! When I wrote about how to cure depression with motivation I didn’t know that I was actually talking about intrinsic motivation.

But the question still hasn’t been addressed, can motivation beat depression?

Well… Yes & No.

I know, I know, let me explain…

Extrinsic motivation which we will identify better if we call it fame, peer approval, money, etc. CAN’T beat depression.

The reason for this might be related with all of this serving a purpose outside of the realm of ourselves. We cannot manage what others may think of us, identify ourselves with that approval and then expect we are going to be at our best.

Same principle apply to money, if we don’t have “enough” or if we lose a lot of money, we then perceive ourselves to be a failure.

Living with extrinsic motivation not only can’t help us to fight depression, it also creates the perfect recipe for having a life full of misery, anxiety, gloom and desolation.

On the other hand Intrinsic motivation which we recognize better as fulfillment, accomplishment, purpose, mastery, etc. CAN beat depression.

The big difference here (you might have guessed already) is that it operates within the realm of ourselves. We have control of what we can try to achieve and after trying our best to achieve something (no matter how small or big) we identify ourselves to be more successful.

A new question has arisen!

How can we use intrinsic motivation to win the battle against depression?

Discipline is key!

Doing our best and keep committed to fight every single day for what we want to accomplish.

Basically, that novel won’t get finished if you don’t sit down to write at least a few paragraphs everyday.

Six-pack abs are the result of sooo much exercise. Not by being content without the workout and sacrifice.

Fulfillment and wealthiness (not same as money) won’t come to you if you don’t put the necessary work to earn it.

Happiness is also something that we need to strive for, and even defend sometimes.

If we want to achieve something in life, we need to understand that in spite of not having the feeling to motivate ourselves of doing something, the best thing to do is start doing it anyways, without waiting for the motivation to come to us.

Keep doing it every day and eventually (with intrinsic values in mind and heart) the motivation will incubate and hatch inside you.

Last thing I’d love to say is:

Go and live your life with the values of intrinsic motivation, and I bet one day you will beat your depression!

Isandy D. Sanchez

The Messages from Water to Fight Against Depression

Major discoveries and inventions from the last millennium (and we could say especially in the last century) have shaped the way we live in this new millennium.

Probably among all the discoveries one of the most important one is the one who did the late Dr. Masaru Emoto. And spoiler alert, it has to do with our minds and water.

What I’m about to tell you encourages love, gratitude, compassion, empathy, beauty and harmony, hence it helps a lot in fighting depression, anxiety and negative feelings in general.

As a way to honor his memory, let’s see first who was the guy behind the discovery in “The Messages from Water”.

Who Was Dr. Masaru Emoto? What Messages Did He Found in Water?

From the pages Notes Displayed and Wikipedia I’ve got this:

Dr. Masaru Emoto (July 22nd, 1943 – October 17th, 2014) was a Japanese author known for his claim that if human speech or thoughts are directed at water droplets before they are frozen, images of the resulting water crystals will be beautiful or ugly depending upon whether the words or thoughts were positive or negative. Emoto claimed this can be achieved through prayer, music or by attaching written words to a container of water.

Basically, Dr. Masaro exposed intent by the means of music, words spoken, words typed, pictures and videos to Water. After taken photographs of the crystallized water, found out that the result was impressive.

Emoto held that different water sources would produce different crystalline structures when frozen.


Since 1999 Dr. Masaru published several volumes of a work titled Messages from Water, which contains micro-photographs of water crystals next to essays and “words of intent”.

“By holding the intention of peace towards water by thinking, speaking and acting with the intention of peace towards water, water can and will bring peace, to our bodies and to the world”

Masaru Emoto

The Emoto’s Famous Rice Experiment!

For one month Emoto placed three glass with rice and covered them with water. Everyday for a month he said “Thank you” to the first one, “You are an idiot” to the second glass and just ignored the third one.

After this month, the one that was thanked started to ferment and was giving a pleasant aroma. The second one (the idiot) turns completely black and lastly the rice in the 3rd glass began to rot.

“What you really know is Possible in your Heart is Possible. What we Imagine in our Minds becomes our World. That’s just one of the many things I’ve learned about Water”

Masaru Emoto

Why Is This Effective in The Fight Against Depression?

Very simple to give an answer to this one. We are composed by +55% of water. Now, take in consideration that if this is what we can do just by thinking and impregnating our intent into water, could you imagine what we are doing to ourselves with our everyday thinking?

Our thoughts are powerful sparks for creation. We can use them often and consciously to awaken a whole new level of power and possibilities in or life.

“While there is no one who hasn’t an evil bone in their body, there is also no one who is totally evil to the core, the fact that someone harbors opposing emotions simple makes them human”

Masaru Emoto

For all of you who fight against depression is not that easy to just start thinking positively about yourself, but this is proof that at least you can start to try to plant that seed in your mind.

In another note, Dr. Masaru believed that serious crimes were committed in places where people cursed more often. But not only cursing creates this type of results, saying things like; “you’re an idiot”, “you disappoint me”, “you can’t do this”, “I don’t trust you”, etc can clearly show crystallized water to be oblivious to harmony and become “ugly” instead.

Although the scientific community won’t validate these findings, due to a lack of scientific evidence, you can find numerous people all over the internet that have performed the rice experiment or a variation of it and getting the same or a very similar result.

I’ll share with you my own rice experiment and my opinion on how everything is working out.

Starting from day 02/01/2019 and completing the experiment in 02/28/2019, I’d say the experiment is not a complete success for me. This is because I took the rice without cooking it first. However, please bear with me, as I want to make a point and show you what I’ve learned with this.

Rice Experiment – Everything Starts With a Thought

Day 1


A thought is an opinion or an idea that appears in our mind or is produced by thinking.

Status Quo, nothing seems to change or feel any different the first day we start something. While we can entertain ourselves about having this or that thought or opinion, it feels much like the same.

With our thoughts we are planting the seed, maybe that seed has been planted in fertile ground to sprout or maybe not.

For instance, going to the Gym today and not going back for the rest of the year won’t do a significant change to your health

I think maybe you are innocent.

You got the point.

Rice Experiment – I Believe is Possible

Day 7

A belief is the acceptance of the existence of something or to think that is true, sometimes even if we cannot demonstrate it.

Believing in something is sometimes challenging the status quo and have opinions about something because we have given some thoughts and can form a better opinion. It feels there has been some changes in our mind and hence we start to question the Status Quo.

The seed is sprouting now, and you can see a plant growing little by little every day.

You are going to the Gym often because you believe that by showing up and doing the work is going to benefit your health.

I believe you can be innocent.

Rice Experiment – Because I Have The Conviction

Day 15

A conviction is a firmly held belief or opinion.

Having a conviction about something means that we deeply believe in that to be true. It’s like reaching out the next level of a belief. You see things through the lens of what you believe and it becomes easier to connect unrelated and/or distant topics with what you believe.

It is with a conviction that we feel strongly motivated to do something, to take action and change the Status Quo because we deeply believe something needs to change.

A fully grown up three is in what that little seed has become now. The roots are deep buried in the ground, the stem is strong, the branches are leafy and overall, it is a healthy tree.

You’re going to the Gym constantly because doing the workout and you believe it will do something beneficial to your body. But it is by having the conviction in your mind that you decide to do “one more” when you feel without the strength to continue.

I trust that you are innocent.

Rice Experiment – Imprint

Day 28

An Imprint (psychology) involves an organism recognizing the characteristics of certain stimuli that are subsequently “imprinted” onto the subject.

Imprinting is getting a belief deeply rooted in ourselves as a conviction, with the difference that we subconsciously follow that belief. Leaders inspire and instill a deep belief in their followers to challenge the Status Quo. We could say they are “imprinting” their opinions and ideas in the people that resonate with that belief.

Do you know about the difference between the conscious mind vs the subconscious mind?

It has been said that we use only the 10% – 20% of our mind’s capacity and that if we harness our full, potential (which is the subconscious mind) we would be unstoppable.

That little idea you have planted and seen growing into a belief and then into a conviction it’s really something, but you must see and acknowledge the forest that surround our “convictions” with it “imprint”.

Going to the Gym and doing the workout has the purpose of being healthier. The imprint in this situation is demonstrated by also eating healthy food, sleeping well, and maybe even doing meditation, all to get the same result, which is having a healthier lifestyle.

Soldiers have repeated some combat training that when they are physically attacked, they respond with a combat counter movement almost subconsciously, effortlessly, like a reflex. That’s because that combat training has been “imprinted” in them.

Conclusion & Final Thoughts

Seeing how the water get it’s beautiful or ugly forms by giving our positive or negative intent, clearly demonstrate how we can affect ourselves and other humans and living beings.

We have the power to create, and we also have the power to destroy when we think, act or speak either negative or positively. This means, we have more power than we think to fight against anything that may trouble us, like depression and/or anxiety.

My Rice Experiment didn’t show the expected result, but I can see that the container with “Amor” seems to have a rosier view and overall is in good shape. The container with “Odio” on the other hand, have some dark spots and I can perceive is dryer, but it doesn’t seem to be in a terrible shape either. That’s why I’ve decided to keep the experiment a little longer. Don’t worry I’ll keep you posted.

Last thing I want to mention about Dr. Masaru Emoto, is that in his lab numerous experiment were run and shows that the most powerful result of cleansing the water is not just a single word, but a combination of the two words “Love & Gratitude”.

How Does True Love Looks Like?

From Pixabay.com

Several times I’ve talked about depression and anxiety, the things we need to focus on everyday to improve ourselves and how we are expressing self-care with these acts with respect and high moral values. But what I haven’t done enough is talking about self-love and neither about true love in a relationship to someone else.

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and around this time we feel the necessity or sometimes the obligation to profess “love” towards our partners with gifts, love letters, Valentines cards, chocolates, flowers, special dates, etc…

On the other hand, people who aren’t in a relationship tend to fall into depression because they think something is wrong with them. I’d like to demonstrate here why Valentine’s Day is not that important to those that feel depressed about it.

Before that, let’s take a look at what love is.

What is Love?

♪ Baby don’t hurt me…

I’ll not go too deep into defining what love is because I think is not something we need to understand with logic but instead with our gut feelings, with our hearts.

One simple and clear definition of Love; a sense of affinity toward something or someone.

A great definition I believe! This one conveys that love is something we feel towards others because we sense that we can relate and open up our true selves. We can deposit our trust and be vulnerable.

Just for the sake of mentioning because I think is an interesting fact about love. Greeks in ancient times used seven words to describe the different kind of loves we can perceive and devote, these are:

Philautia -> Self-love

Storage -> Natural affection

Philia -> Friendship

Ludus -> Flirting

Eros -> Sexual and Erotica

Pragma -> Committed (Married)

Agape -> Unconditional (Divine)

As I’ve said, I’ll not go too deep about what love is (maybe will save it for another post). But hope this basic understanding and the simple definition I’ve just gave you here, will serve you well.

Now, I’ll give you my opinion about what is “true love”, and why if you are single you shouldn’t be depressed about Valentines Day.

When There’s True Love in a Relationship, Valentine’s Day is just Another Day

Valentine’s Day is good in the way to remind us that we need to keep in track, not lose the way of caring and showing the commitment to our partner, that we are interested in being with her/him.

All of this is very important because sometimes we can lose track and forget to nurture our love life, but the way we try to nurture a relationship is by an expensive date, a fancy gift or doing something big to show our significant others that we really love them. And this is not the right way.

I almost can bet someone hasn’t fallen in love with you because you gave flowers and chocolates in Valentines Day. Showing interest? Sure thing! But true love it’s hard to gauge or maybe cannot be measured, not sure about this statement.

What I have pretty clear is that what sets the difference in relationships that have love at its core between those that lack it, is the daily practice of being committed to our partner in the relationship.

The daily minimal and insignificant things that by standing-alone won’t make any difference, but when combined over certain amount of time, it makes all the difference.

It’s not about the intensity because there’s not an exact day in which you can say “I love you” but instead it’s about the consistency. Being genuinely consistent is more about believing there’s something over there with that person and you keep committed to that person and that relationship.

When the two of you do it, you can say there’s true love! And that’s why you shouldn’t be depressed about being single in Valentines Day.

Conclusion

Love is something we all can feel but sometimes cannot explain. Love is not something we need to understand with logic but instead feel it with our hearts.

By having a sense of affinity with your own self, you’ll end up accepting who you are and keep committed toward building a healthy relationship with yourself. And as a matter of fact, it will be the best thing to do before starting a love relationship.

Valentines Day is more about intensity not consistency which is where we can find true love. However, the trick of consistency and finding love, is being genuine with the interest and the actions taken to foster the relationship.

We All Can Fail in the Fight Against Depression

When we are fighting to achieve something in life we can encounter some roadblocks and setbacks that prevent us of achieving it. It could be starting a business, writing a book, becoming an artist in some way, etc.

Sometimes we encounter big roadblocks that we in our current state cannot surpass and get to the other side where we want to be. It has become too much to deal with.

At some point in our lives we all can fail in the fight against depression too. That’s something possible to happen in this every day fight. That’s just reality as it is.

A man with his hand in face and eyes closed. Depressed and thinking about its problems and how to solve them.
Image from pexels.com

Don’t Handle Everything, But Just Everything You Can

When something negative happens, when we are failing and things are falling apart, when you feel like not being able to get back in your feet, there’s something you need to realize.

You need to realize that once you are aligned with what is true, honest and with integrity of your being and who you want to become, you just need to handle what you can handle, try to put in order only the things you can control and don’t get overwhelmed by the things outside of your control.

Be careful with the chaos lurking around and set to fix the things that are in disorder, if they cannot be fixed, then learn to accept them as they come to you.

For the things that are already good, try to make them a little better every day. Life has the tendency of being in a perpetual state of change anyways, so why not trying to have the perpetual mindset transforming good things into better things!?

I believe people, no, we as human beings, have tremendous capacity to persevere against great loss and can survive through a lot of pain. We are tough, tougher than we imagine we are, but to unfold this capacity within us, we need to see the good in Being.

Depression is Taking the Best Out of Me, Is This Really Working?

A man sitting in a rock in a meditative state with eye opens and thiniking about getting out of its problems.
Image from pexels.com

What about if you still feel like a mess? Like you cannot bear with what is in front of you?

What about if you feel like being hopeless of finding happiness in your life? Or worse, what about if you can’t see the good in Being?

We are tough, no doubt about it. But certainly we have a limit too.
When this limit has been met, what we must do then?

The answer I’ll give you it is probably not the one you are expecting and surely a lot of people won’t agree with me on this one. But I think that when we’re failing in the fight against depression, and we feel like falling apart without hope of standing back again, we need to rely on something bigger than ourselves!

There’s just so much that we can take before we turn bitter and resentful. Before turning this way, and stop believing in ourselves, we should at least try to believe in something more powerful than what we can see and experience in this world.

Believe and rely on Jesus Christ! Who gave his life for all of us. By accepting him and believing in him, he will remove those feelings of failure and defeat in our lives and replace them with love in its purest form.

Conclusion

Align yourself with the highest moral values (heaven!?). Do what you can with what you can manage. The things outside of your control; learn to accept them and fix them if possible.

Learn about your limits, and when you’ve reached that limit, leave your struggle and your fight to God, and he himself will help you to surpass your failures.

5 Qualities of a Successful Life Out of Depression

I want to express the qualities of a successful life (and not of a happy life) because happiness is the byproduct of being successful. Happiness is easily achieved once we perceive our lives to be a success, or at least in continuous progress towards that success.

Once you instill and learn to apply the qualities to have a successful life, depression will not have a chance to crawl over you and consume your being. The strategy to get out of depression here is quite simple to understand, apply the qualities of success for happiness to follow you and depression automatically will lose ground in your life.

1. Patience

Not to be confounded with hesitation, indecisiveness and lack of taking action. The skill of waiting is; knowing with certainty, deciding with conviction and taking action without hesitation.

Patience it is believed to be something that either we have or don’t have. Like you either were born with it or not. I think this is a big misconception, because patience it’s something we all have to a certain degree.

I claim this because I’ve found that the most successful people out there will tell you it’s something practiced, something you need to develop. And this skill well learned and used, will always create a favorable outcome in any given situation.

2. A Long Run Vision

A long run vision is the capacity of watching how things will unfold in the far away future. It is how a strategist see the things in its head.

It helps to have this kind of vision vs the short term one because in the short term vision you are focusing in how things are right now, and what can be done to completely change the things today.

It helps to have this kind of vision vs the short term one because in the short term vision you are focusing in how things are right now, and what can be done to completely change the things today. Having the expectancy of big changes and doing something significant “at the moment” usually lead us to a wrong path.

On the other hand, having a long term vision focuses in the gradual change of things, it focuses on what little (often perceived as insignificant) details we can adapt today to see the big change in the future. And usually lead us to conclude we need to sacrifice certain things and make an effort if we want to achieve our long term goal.

3. Discipline

Discipline is one of those words we all can hear preached repeatedly by all kind of successful people. And yet most of the people still keep failing of fully applying it and sometimes even understand it completely.

Let’s put it in this way. Have you ever flight or have seen a kite flying? Do you know how they can keep flying?

There are several parts of a kite; the sails, the cross spar, the line, the spine, the tails, a swivel for the line and the bridle. Each one of them do their part to make the kite able catch the wind and fly.

Pretty obvious is that cutting the line will make the kite lose it’s stability, go nuts in the sky for a little time and then crash down to the ground or some building.

Discipline is that line of self-control that make us to have the capability of going as high, far, and in whichever way we want in the flight of our lives. Just as the line of a kite, without discipline we will lose our stability to the emotions, won’t have a set course of flight and lastly we’ll crash.

4. Responsibility

One wise man said long ago that “we like to take responsibility of winnings, but the loses, we even don’t want to see them” (if it haven’t been said, then I’m saying it right now!).

Being responsible in a sense, is taking ownership of the good or bad things that are happening or have happened, and we have certain grade of involvement in those things happening.

Clarifying, responsibility is making ourselves the owners of bad or good things happening in our lives. When things go the wrong way we usually want to detach of those things, but when things are going positive we want to take ownership because we’d like to believe we’re doing a good job.

This happens because we want to tell the story to ourselves and others that we are doing our best effort and thanks to that, this is the outcome (positive) or in despite of that the circumstances and external factors cannot be managed (negative).

Knowing that you’re doing the best you can and be humble (more on humility for another time) to accept things as they are, no matter how good or bad, this is how (I think) responsibility starts to develop.

5. An Open Mind

Open mindedness is being humble enough to accept you could be all wrong about something (again, more on humility for another time) and you have the capacity to change your standpoint at any given time.

All of this is proven by the constant evaluation of our thoughts, perceptions and mindset to be molded by new ideas and the possibility of adapting those ideas.

This could be one definition or the definition of having an open mind. To fight depression effectively and having a successful life out of it, an open mind will help us to constantly evolve the way we think, see, and perceive things.

Realizing that we can be wrong and accepting the possibility that other ways of thinking can be more certain, lead us to not be so fixed on our own ways, to not believe that we have all the answers and everyone else is wrong, and that is ok to seek help from others.

Conclusion

To have a successful life out of depression you need to work things out, it is not something achieved in an instant from the night to the morning. Anything meaningful in life needs to be worked out and applied constantly in a daily basis to see the big change in the future.

When you have an open mind and a long run vision to see a better version of yourself in the future, you make yourself responsible for attaining that change and work it out with discipline and patience every day, you’ll have an amazing stepping stone for a successful life out of depression.

Your True Identity & The New Beginning Ahead!

Last year has ended, and a whole new year has begun. The loud music, parties, the food along with the alcohol has most probably ended for a lot of us by now. The time to go back to “the normal life” has already started and with the coming of a new year most people (pretty sure that at least 99.99 %) has some thoughts about starting something new and ending something negative in their lives. 

Well, I know that some people sometimes won’t recognize what they’re thinking about, but the truth is that with the end and the beginning of a year, we feel a little hesitant about what we’ve accomplished and what we want to achieve in our lives. By thinking in this way, we’re giving a little perspective of who we are and whom we want to be!

Your True Identity

By its definition on Wikipedia (in psychology’s terms); identity is the qualities, beliefs, personality, looks and/or expressions that make a person (self-identity) or group (particular social category or social group).

“A person’s identity is defined as the totality of one’s self-construal, in which how one construes oneself in the present expresses the continuity between how one construes oneself as one was in the past and how one construes oneself as one aspires to be in the future”.

Weinreich, Peter (1988) [1986]

Everybody knows what identity means but I wanted a valid definition to point out something about it. Looking at this definition and relating it with what I’ve said, we can rephrase this understanding as; at the end/start of a year we sense a cycle has ended and a new one is starting now. In this change of a cycle we give perspective to our qualities, beliefs, personality, looks and/or expressions.

Now, for those people who suffer from depression it can feel as a very negative experience because they usually think and feel bad about that if they think this way, then there must be something wrong with them.

So what do they need to do? How do they define their identity?

The New Beginning

The First Step to Take it’s Defining Who You Really Are.

First thing first, realize that your depression (or anxiety) is the one who wants to create confusion and lead you to thinking you are wrong. What I want you to understand is that thinking about who you are and finding your self-identity is a normal process, and is even more common when we are at this time of the year.

Another point I want to remark is that you really care about your identity, if you really don’t care, then why giving so much thought? This search for your true identity it translates in a new beginning in your fight against depression, maybe a new beginning of a business, a healthier lifestyle or even starting to write a book.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”.

Laozi, Chapter 64 of the Tao Te Ching.

It doesn’t matter when you’re going to start but what you want to accomplish must be aligned with your beliefs, qualities and personality. I know this could be hard, but in reality, you always need to start with the first step to begin your journey.

Going Deeper Into Depression

I get that depressed people can’t do anything without feeling… well, depressed. Or not feeling like doing it anyways. If this is the case in you, then depression is deeply rotted in your identity because it lead you to believe it is your true identity when you look at yourself.

Depression got this roots inside because it’s very tricky, believing that you can’t change you’re identity is another trick, a false belief created by it. To start a new beginning you’ll need to take responsability of defining (and redefining everyday) you’re true identity to erase the false depressed identity, keep committed to the identiy you’d like to have and everyday will become a little more your true identity.

Conclusion

Around this time we all make plans and set goals to better ourselves. We feel that a cycle is ending and a new one is beginning, so we perceive our lives must do the same. My advice will be then that we take the perspective of who we are and who we want to be, and align it with what we want to accomplish. Having in mind always that depression is not our true identity but something that wants to create confusion of who we really are and we can change the false identity created by depression.

The fact is that it doesn’t matter when we’re starting a new beginning. But what really matters is from where, and that place must always be who we are today and who we are going to become if we accomplish what we’ve set our mind to accomplish.

Hope all of this makes sense to you… Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas & New Year Resolution!

Maybe you are making some preparations for the Christmas Eve. Family reunions, the gifts, the dinner, etc… Maybe you have also setup your New Year Resolution and this is what I want to talk about today.

This definition is taken from Wikipedia: A New Year’s resolution is a tradition, most common in the Western Hemisphere but also found in the Eastern Hemisphere, in which a person resolves to change an undesired trait or behavior, to accomplish a personal goal or otherwise improve their life.

For those of you that haven’t written your New Year Resolution, I encourage you to do it, it is very well-known that achieving a goal (no matter how small or big) will help you to feel better about yourself, thus, can help you to fight depression, and a year resolution is what most people do when a new year is coming. So go and do it, you still have a lot of time.

If you have already set up your goals for the coming year, Congrats!! This means you know how important this is to better yourself, to improve your life, to fight and win against depression.

Common New Year Resolutions

New Year Resolution

Now, I want you to review it to check what are the items you have there. I don’t know about you, but most people (the big majority of people including myself for a time) are inclined to set goals like: Getting a new car, making more money, getting a new job (or being promoted), getting better grades (in College or High School), getting a girlfriend (or boyfriend), being fit, losing X amount of weight and have a healthier lifestyle, maybe learning how to dance salsa, to play the guitar or the piano, how to sing… I can continue on and on, but I think you’ve got the idea.

Were you able to see a trend over there? I mean, were you able to see that most of these things are focusing in materialistic gains and in the ego’s realm? It is OK to have this kind of goals, I’m not condemning anybody for having them, but with this in mind, I want to ask you; What goals are dedicated to God? Where is Jesus in the equation?

Probably you are not of a big believer in Jesus, you’re not following God or practicing a religion. I can understand that you may not know Jesus Christ, and I’m not the one to say how and when you’ll know him. But, some day I’m pretty sure you will.

The Kind Of World I’d Like to See

With that said, if you’re not planning on making some room for Jesus Christ in your goals and life in the coming year, then at least make some room in your resolution to be more emphatic, train your patience, becoming a good friend, sister/brother/neigbor, bring a smile to people, forgiving, not holding grudges to the people that has done wrong to you, inspire people, learning the art of making people feel joy/hope! How these resolutions sounds to you?

Can you imagine if more people set this kind of goals in their new year resolution? In what kind of world we would be living today? I can be 99% sure this planet would not be with so much depression and anxiety today. I mean, if those were the kind of goals and new year resolutions that must people set and try to achieve, we wouldn’t see so much sadness, angriness, envy, bad behavior and narcissism.

This is the world I’d like to see, but what I see is all the contrary for the more meaningless things. That’s too bad. I guess this kind of world can only exist in the mind of a dreamer. Thanks God I believe in Jesus Christ and have faith that he will set up everything right.

And with that said, I’ll see you next year.

I wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year by the way!!