The Fear Factor in Difficult Times

What Causes Fear in Us?

Two fingers in a hug seeking comfort against fear and depression.
Image by ElisaRiva from Pixabay

The heart starts to pump blood at a faster pace, our hands and body get humid by sweating, the hearing and seeing senses get more alerts to our surroundings as the brain sends the signal to gather more info from it.

We know very well that stitch in the spine and that shivering in our nerves when we confront something that is well… scary.

Fear can be triggered by a lot of things but we usually know fear when we get stunned in front of something that we don’t know what to expect and can create some kind of harm to us.

Saying it in simple ways, our primitive fight or flight response gets activated because we are perceiving something dangerous nearby and we need to respond accordingly.

It would be a way too long of a shot to define what causes us to feel fear in a 100% accurate way in all situations but we know when we feel it and we know that we want to avoid the situation so we can “survive” another day.

Healthy Fears & Unhealthy Fears

Knowing that fear works as some sort of mechanism to keep our survival, we can conclude with a simple look that fear is something healthy to have. Right?

Well… yes and no.

Let me clarify this better.

In the sense previously described then yes!

But fear is unhealthy to have when A) there’s no real threat or harmful situation to our being and B) we hold to the feeling longer than we should.

For instance, I would say that a lot of phobias enter in the category of “no real threat” as examples I can cite:

Carcinophobia (fear of developing cancer when we don’t have any signs to it), Coulrophobia (fear of clowns), Trypophobia (fear of small holes conglomerated in clusters), or the #1 phobia in America according to Washingtonpost since 2014 Glossophobia (fear of public speaking).

It is unhealthy to have fear of something that cannot represent real harm to us because our safety is not being compromised (at least not in a physical way), hence it doesn’t support our “drive to thrive in life”.

The Side Effects Created by Fear

Now, things could get even worse when we hold to some kind of fear longer than we should.

But why?

Very simple, when the threat (or the belief of the threat) has already passed we still think that danger is nearby and we don’t go back to our relaxed normal way of being.

The sense of alertness provoked by fear to respond to danger is good. However, when we are overly cautious and alert most of the time it can create anxiety, irritability, concentration problems, insomnia (troubles with your sleep), and depression.

In a physical way, an unhealthy fear can lead to problems with our digestion, fertility, weakens our immune system and even can accelerate our aging and lead us to premature death.

Fear can be humanity’s most deadly poison (or virus) in all history and a lot of us are still learning how to deal with it. Even worse, there’s no vaccine or cure to fear and the stress it creates.

The Present Situation with COVID-19

A don't panic message with a Cloth Face Covering to avoid the faste spread of the Coronavirus.
Photo by Tonik on Unsplash

If you look up the news, the statistics and the information that is being spread about COVID-19 without being in constant “panic” or being terrified by them, you should be aware that to this bug you are summing a weakened immune system and all the problems fear brings.

Better it would be to turn off the news for the sake of your health and whole being. (I know it sounds counterintuitive but you can see my point).

Listen, I’m not saying you should not be afraid of anything and be courageous to everything, but I’m saying that we should not make things worse by amplifying problems by holding a feeling of fear.

We must learn how to let go of fear! That’s the key.

Learn to be cautious by feeling fear of something but don’t hold to that feeling longer than must be done after it has accomplished its purpose.

What I think is the antagonist feeling of fear is not courage or bravery, I think we can defeat the fear of any kind by having gratitude of everything in our lives (even the perceived negative situations).

I hope and wish the best for you and your beloved ones in this difficult time we are living due to this Virus and also that can find the way to be grateful for everything in your life.

See you soon!

Magical Words to Win Over Depression

Is it possible we can win over depression with a few words?

Being able to do this, means those words would be worthy of being known as “Magical Words”.

Recently I’ve written another post about how words and our expressed intentions in some way or another, can affect water. As a big percentage of our body composition is water, this implies that we can use words to our advantage or disservice in the fight against depression.

If you are familiar with that post and its content, then you probably would guess what the Magical Words to Win Over Depression are.

But if you haven’t seen it and want to read it…

I want to widen the idea that our intention and beliefs can make wonders to help us beat depression because it would be amazing that with only a few words we can increase dramatically the chances to overcome this mental illness.

What Do We understand for Magic?

Magic is something we define and know as a force that can create, move or destroy something.

Is magic real? I would say is not as real as portrayed in movies and series, (or maybe it is… I don’t know) but the emotions created in us after hearing a beautiful song is something “magical”. And that’s the definition I’m taking of magic in this post.

Maybe you don’t like music, haven’t felt and can’t understand what I’m referring to. In that case, how about an adorable evening with your loved ones? A long time expected kiss with your secret crush? The memorable smile of a stranger that made your day?

Can you see now what I mean by magic?

Supposing that magic exists and it is the emotions created within people that can alter something either for good or for bad.

A Magical Word then would be the word that when expressed will move feelings to make a change in someone.

Simple as that! Right?

And the Magical Words Are…

Magical words that can help us fight and win over depression and mental illnesses are those that help us to change the depressive state depression wants to create within us.

We already know those words! We know they have magical properties but sometimes it is a game changer that someone makes us remember them…

I Love You

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” 
― Martin Luther King Jr

It Can Be Done!

“It is impossible to win the race unless you venture to run, impossible to win the victory unless you dare to battle.” 
― Richard M. DeVos

That’s Great.

“Perfection is impossible; just strive to do your best.” 
― Angela Watson

Good Job.

“In this world, you do your job, a good job, and that’s what counts.” 
― Francois Nars

Thank You!

“’Thank you’ is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding. ” 
― Alice Walker

Just use them everyday with the intention they are conveyed with and although it could take a while to notice the big chance, remember that a journey of a thousand miles starts with one step!

Why Motivation Can’t Beat Depression

Motivation can beat depression any time and any day. Period!

I haven’t misspelled it. I know what it’s written in the tittle, and surely you will find this to be contradictory. Please, bear with me while I expose my case!

Let’s understand first what motivation is:

Motive + Action = Motivation

By definition from the most renown world-wide-web dictionary (google) 😉
is a reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way.

Motivation is (with my own words) the “why” we take action toward certain things. Plain and simple.

Divided by its nature. There are two kinds of motivation; one is intrinsic and the other is extrinsic.

Extrinsic motivation is the one that comes from the outside. An external factor that can create undesirable or desirable conditions for us to do something, or avoid doing something.

“If you don’t eat your vegetables I’ll be mad with you”

“Go to that party and you’ll be grounded younglady!”

“Not going to my job today and I might get fired, better to get dressed”

Intrinsic motivation is the one coming from the inside. An internal incentive that propel us to do something.

Take this quote from Steve Jobs as way to understand it better.

Photo by Tobias Bjørkli from Pexels

Quick fact! When we generally speak about motivation we are talking about intrinsic motivation.

Quick fact #2! When I wrote about how to cure depression with motivation I didn’t know that I was actually talking about intrinsic motivation.

But the question still hasn’t been addressed, can motivation beat depression?

Well… Yes & No.

I know, I know, let me explain…

Extrinsic motivation which we will identify better if we call it fame, peer approval, money, etc. CAN’T beat depression.

The reason for this might be related with all of this serving a purpose outside of the realm of ourselves. We cannot manage what others may think of us, identify ourselves with that approval and then expect we are going to be at our best.

Same principle apply to money, if we don’t have “enough” or if we lose a lot of money, we then perceive ourselves to be a failure.

Living with extrinsic motivation not only can’t help us to fight depression, it also creates the perfect recipe for having a life full of misery, anxiety, gloom and desolation.

On the other hand Intrinsic motivation which we recognize better as fulfillment, accomplishment, purpose, mastery, etc. CAN beat depression.

The big difference here (you might have guessed already) is that it operates within the realm of ourselves. We have control of what we can try to achieve and after trying our best to achieve something (no matter how small or big) we identify ourselves to be more successful.

A new question has arisen!

How can we use intrinsic motivation to win the battle against depression?

Discipline is key!

Doing our best and keep committed to fight every single day for what we want to accomplish.

Basically, that novel won’t get finished if you don’t sit down to write at least a few paragraphs everyday.

Six-pack abs are the result of sooo much exercise. Not by being content without the workout and sacrifice.

Fulfillment and wealthiness (not same as money) won’t come to you if you don’t put the necessary work to earn it.

Happiness is also something that we need to strive for, and even defend sometimes.

If we want to achieve something in life, we need to understand that in spite of not having the feeling to motivate ourselves of doing something, the best thing to do is start doing it anyways, without waiting for the motivation to come to us.

Keep doing it every day and eventually (with intrinsic values in mind and heart) the motivation will incubate and hatch inside you.

Last thing I’d love to say is:

Go and live your life with the values of intrinsic motivation, and I bet one day you will beat your depression!

Isandy D. Sanchez

5 Qualities of a Successful Life Out of Depression

I want to express the qualities of a successful life (and not of a happy life) because happiness is the byproduct of being successful. Happiness is easily achieved once we perceive our lives to be a success, or at least in continuous progress towards that success.

Once you instill and learn to apply the qualities to have a successful life, depression will not have a chance to crawl over you and consume your being. The strategy to get out of depression here is quite simple to understand, apply the qualities of success for happiness to follow you and depression automatically will lose ground in your life.

1. Patience

Not to be confounded with hesitation, indecisiveness and lack of taking action. The skill of waiting is; knowing with certainty, deciding with conviction and taking action without hesitation.

Patience it is believed to be something that either we have or don’t have. Like you either were born with it or not. I think this is a big misconception, because patience it’s something we all have to a certain degree.

I claim this because I’ve found that the most successful people out there will tell you it’s something practiced, something you need to develop. And this skill well learned and used, will always create a favorable outcome in any given situation.

2. A Long Run Vision

A long run vision is the capacity of watching how things will unfold in the far away future. It is how a strategist see the things in its head.

It helps to have this kind of vision vs the short term one because in the short term vision you are focusing in how things are right now, and what can be done to completely change the things today.

It helps to have this kind of vision vs the short term one because in the short term vision you are focusing in how things are right now, and what can be done to completely change the things today. Having the expectancy of big changes and doing something significant “at the moment” usually lead us to a wrong path.

On the other hand, having a long term vision focuses in the gradual change of things, it focuses on what little (often perceived as insignificant) details we can adapt today to see the big change in the future. And usually lead us to conclude we need to sacrifice certain things and make an effort if we want to achieve our long term goal.

3. Discipline

Discipline is one of those words we all can hear preached repeatedly by all kind of successful people. And yet most of the people still keep failing of fully applying it and sometimes even understand it completely.

Let’s put it in this way. Have you ever flight or have seen a kite flying? Do you know how they can keep flying?

There are several parts of a kite; the sails, the cross spar, the line, the spine, the tails, a swivel for the line and the bridle. Each one of them do their part to make the kite able catch the wind and fly.

Pretty obvious is that cutting the line will make the kite lose it’s stability, go nuts in the sky for a little time and then crash down to the ground or some building.

Discipline is that line of self-control that make us to have the capability of going as high, far, and in whichever way we want in the flight of our lives. Just as the line of a kite, without discipline we will lose our stability to the emotions, won’t have a set course of flight and lastly we’ll crash.

4. Responsibility

One wise man said long ago that “we like to take responsibility of winnings, but the loses, we even don’t want to see them” (if it haven’t been said, then I’m saying it right now!).

Being responsible in a sense, is taking ownership of the good or bad things that are happening or have happened, and we have certain grade of involvement in those things happening.

Clarifying, responsibility is making ourselves the owners of bad or good things happening in our lives. When things go the wrong way we usually want to detach of those things, but when things are going positive we want to take ownership because we’d like to believe we’re doing a good job.

This happens because we want to tell the story to ourselves and others that we are doing our best effort and thanks to that, this is the outcome (positive) or in despite of that the circumstances and external factors cannot be managed (negative).

Knowing that you’re doing the best you can and be humble (more on humility for another time) to accept things as they are, no matter how good or bad, this is how (I think) responsibility starts to develop.

5. An Open Mind

Open mindedness is being humble enough to accept you could be all wrong about something (again, more on humility for another time) and you have the capacity to change your standpoint at any given time.

All of this is proven by the constant evaluation of our thoughts, perceptions and mindset to be molded by new ideas and the possibility of adapting those ideas.

This could be one definition or the definition of having an open mind. To fight depression effectively and having a successful life out of it, an open mind will help us to constantly evolve the way we think, see, and perceive things.

Realizing that we can be wrong and accepting the possibility that other ways of thinking can be more certain, lead us to not be so fixed on our own ways, to not believe that we have all the answers and everyone else is wrong, and that is ok to seek help from others.

Conclusion

To have a successful life out of depression you need to work things out, it is not something achieved in an instant from the night to the morning. Anything meaningful in life needs to be worked out and applied constantly in a daily basis to see the big change in the future.

When you have an open mind and a long run vision to see a better version of yourself in the future, you make yourself responsible for attaining that change and work it out with discipline and patience every day, you’ll have an amazing stepping stone for a successful life out of depression.

Your True Identity & The New Beginning Ahead!

Last year has ended, and a whole new year has begun. The loud music, parties, the food along with the alcohol has most probably ended for a lot of us by now. The time to go back to “the normal life” has already started and with the coming of a new year most people (pretty sure that at least 99.99 %) has some thoughts about starting something new and ending something negative in their lives. 

Well, I know that some people sometimes won’t recognize what they’re thinking about, but the truth is that with the end and the beginning of a year, we feel a little hesitant about what we’ve accomplished and what we want to achieve in our lives. By thinking in this way, we’re giving a little perspective of who we are and whom we want to be!

Your True Identity

By its definition on Wikipedia (in psychology’s terms); identity is the qualities, beliefs, personality, looks and/or expressions that make a person (self-identity) or group (particular social category or social group).

“A person’s identity is defined as the totality of one’s self-construal, in which how one construes oneself in the present expresses the continuity between how one construes oneself as one was in the past and how one construes oneself as one aspires to be in the future”.

Weinreich, Peter (1988) [1986]

Everybody knows what identity means but I wanted a valid definition to point out something about it. Looking at this definition and relating it with what I’ve said, we can rephrase this understanding as; at the end/start of a year we sense a cycle has ended and a new one is starting now. In this change of a cycle we give perspective to our qualities, beliefs, personality, looks and/or expressions.

Now, for those people who suffer from depression it can feel as a very negative experience because they usually think and feel bad about that if they think this way, then there must be something wrong with them.

So what do they need to do? How do they define their identity?

The New Beginning

The First Step to Take it’s Defining Who You Really Are.

First thing first, realize that your depression (or anxiety) is the one who wants to create confusion and lead you to thinking you are wrong. What I want you to understand is that thinking about who you are and finding your self-identity is a normal process, and is even more common when we are at this time of the year.

Another point I want to remark is that you really care about your identity, if you really don’t care, then why giving so much thought? This search for your true identity it translates in a new beginning in your fight against depression, maybe a new beginning of a business, a healthier lifestyle or even starting to write a book.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”.

Laozi, Chapter 64 of the Tao Te Ching.

It doesn’t matter when you’re going to start but what you want to accomplish must be aligned with your beliefs, qualities and personality. I know this could be hard, but in reality, you always need to start with the first step to begin your journey.

Going Deeper Into Depression

I get that depressed people can’t do anything without feeling… well, depressed. Or not feeling like doing it anyways. If this is the case in you, then depression is deeply rotted in your identity because it lead you to believe it is your true identity when you look at yourself.

Depression got this roots inside because it’s very tricky, believing that you can’t change you’re identity is another trick, a false belief created by it. To start a new beginning you’ll need to take responsability of defining (and redefining everyday) you’re true identity to erase the false depressed identity, keep committed to the identiy you’d like to have and everyday will become a little more your true identity.

Conclusion

Around this time we all make plans and set goals to better ourselves. We feel that a cycle is ending and a new one is beginning, so we perceive our lives must do the same. My advice will be then that we take the perspective of who we are and who we want to be, and align it with what we want to accomplish. Having in mind always that depression is not our true identity but something that wants to create confusion of who we really are and we can change the false identity created by depression.

The fact is that it doesn’t matter when we’re starting a new beginning. But what really matters is from where, and that place must always be who we are today and who we are going to become if we accomplish what we’ve set our mind to accomplish.

Hope all of this makes sense to you… Happy New Year!

Can Depression Be Cured?

I remember one time when I was reading an article about said no one in the world can run 1 mile under 4 minutes. That was in the last century and the first time it was achieved was in 1954 by Roger Bannister with a time of 3:59.4.

After him, a thousand male runners have broken that barrier too and currently the world record of a mile it’s held by Hicham El Guerrouj, who ran a time of 3:43.13 in Rome in 1999. Pretty impressive right?

In less than 50 years we have changed from believing something wasn’t possible to break that “impossibility” and make a record with almost 17 seconds over it.

How Is This Related To Depression?

Fair question, what I want to say is that we can believe something is not possible and have that supposed knowledge as a core fundament of our belief systems. But we need just one person in the world that achieve the “impossible” for us to open our minds and question what it is possible.

No one has run a mile under 4 minutes before 1954 and when someone did it a lot of people got the inspiration to do it too.

You may say, but depression is not the same, everybody experiences depression differently. You’re right, depression is a different experience for every people suffering it.

But remember that those athletes that have run and break the 1 mile/4 minute threshold are different too. They had different backgrounds, different height, and weight, different genetics (obviously) and yet they all have one thing in common.

They believed it is possible and that they can do it!

Can Depression Bew Cured?

Can Depression Be Cured?

To answer this question I will say a definite… Of Course!! Depression can be cured!

There is not just one story of someone beating depression and lastly living a joyful and happy life. But a dozen of thousands of people who share their story about how the fight it, how they struggle with it, how they almost but never give up, how they become as deaf to hear the lies of depression in their heads and how lastly they cured their depression.

One of the best stories I’ve ever known is how James Gordon after 20 years of trying everything he finally accomplished his dream of being cured of depression. Now he can teach you How In A Simple 7-Step System You Can Destroy Your Depression.

We need to do the same as athletes, they have practiced, they do their work to achieve their goal and finally, achieve it.

It’s not something you’re born with, it’s something that you can achieve too if you’re willing to do the work.

Conclusion

There’s only one thing you need to take from here today. And that is if someone else has achieved something in life you can do it too.

No matter the differences, the burdens, and the struggles, what matter is to have the common way of thinking with those that have succeeded. Know that it’s possible and be certain it’s possible for you too!

How Moral Values Fight And Cure Depression

Being a teenager means that someone is not yet fully developed its maturity, and the character while it has grown and starting to take form, we know it needs to reach its completion too.

In teenagers and children, it is very important to impress the meaning of why we need to adopt moral values in our lives. Without them, society could not sustain in a civilized world and communities will destroy themselves as soon as the moral values disappear from it.

Some of the most common known moral values are:

  • Responsibility
  • Perseverance
  • Honesty
  • Respect
  • Discipline
  • Generosity
  • Acceptance
  • Integrity
  • Compassion

Now, having these values integrated into our way of thinking and way of conducting ourselves in the world is better known as having a “Moral Compass”.

A Moral Compass is what helps us differentiate the good from the bad and we only can have it if we follow the rules of this game. Maybe most people cannot see it as clear as I’m telling you but I think these rules of the Moral Compass have been set by God himself with his commandment of “do unto others as you’d like being done to you”

Moral Values to Fight and Cure Depression

What Having A Moral Compass Really Means To Each One Of Us?

We already know that the Moral Compass is called this because it gives us a direction to follow by behaving with the moral principles comprehended. It’s the consciousness of doing good or bad, being right or wrong, walking in light or walking in darkness.

When you lie to someone about something (no matter the reason) how do you feel about yourself?

Would you be proud and see yourself as someone reliable by cheating on your significant other?

How would you feel if your friend or a relative find out that you took some money from him/her?

Deep very deep down, and I mean really deep down we all know that by doing these kinds of dishonest things we see ourselves as someone toxic and our self-esteem and self-confidence suffer dramatically. In other words, immoral people know what they’re doing is bad and hate what they see in front of a mirror.

Everything said here has been great and I hope you’re getting the idea… but how all of this can help me to fight and cure my depression?

How Moral Values Fight And Cure Depression

Probably now it’s really simple for some of you to see it, but I’ll finish the idea anyway.

By behaving in “the light” and doing the best we can do with our ability right where we are, in a certain way what we really are doing is following the God’s commandment of “do unto others as you’d like being done to you” hence you are loving your neighbor as much as you love yourself!

This is in the more external and societal way of speaking, now let’s see it in a more personal way.

Depression and anxiety is the condition that won’t let you follow this commandment because you think and feel like you’re not worthy of love. This is the upper hand it has over us and lastly, it is the triumph card too if we believe we’re not worthy.

The actual way that moral values fight and can cure depression is because when you behave with morality you’re creating the self-image of someone who values who it is! And this is of huge importance because by doing this our true self-confidence and true self-esteem skyrocket to whole new levels!

Even if you don’t feel and think that you’re a valuable person worthy of love and care you need to act as if you are (you really are) and setting a moral compass of righteousness will help you in developing the right mindset and the right emotions of worthiness, love, and care!

Is Your Job Making You Feel More Anxious And Depressed?

In an ideal world, having a job is something that must make us feel self-realized, worthy and valuable to those that we’re serving and our own self, but the fact is that we’re not living in an ideal world and we must fight for the things we care and wish to have in life.

Another fact to consider is that most people don’t like what they’re doing but need to do it because the bills, student loans, the mortgage or whatever kind of debt they have, need to be paid monthly and without the paycheck from their job, they will have a hard time keeping up with everything.

Why Your Job Could Make You More Depressed
  • The reason number one is not feeling motivated to do what you’re doing in it and as I’ve already said this is because you’re not doing what you love.
  • It’s not meaningful and/or relevant to the kind of person you are and the kind of things you want to achieve in life.
  • There isn’t a happy environment inside the company and among your coworkers.
  • A bad management, meaning that you don’t have a clear set of objectives or don’t know exactly what the company expects from you.
  • There are stressful tasks to do every day, like dealing with angry customers and having patience while showing a smile each time.

There are more reasons but I’ve found that most of them can relate to these core 4 reasons on why people get more depressed inside their jobs.

Compare some of the reasons that you can relate in your job and find out what are the core reasons present in your own situation, that way you’ll have a better understanding on how you can address it and create a more compelling strategy to fight it.

How You Can Make Your Job A More Pleasant Endeavor

Your job and your depression

I have to be honest with you, I cannot claim that my strategy will work with 100{e402507e4f7c5da6fcdac0258ce55c5246707ed57ffe8e99d7407853d372cd9a} accuracy to all situations and all people, but if what I’m about to share doesn’t make you feel a lot better when you are at it, then at least it will make your job a more bearable experience.

What is really awesome about this one is that this tip will come in handy if you put it into practice regardless of the reasons you may have. The tip is to think you’re making one of the most important and fulfilling works on the planet. 

I’ll show you what I mean with an example.

Let’s say that if you’re a plumber the usual job definition you would have is something like;

Maintaining, repairing and installing pipes that works with the water distribution, heating, and cooling for residential buildings.

And now with the reframe of the job description of a plumber to be one of the most important jobs on the planet your job definition should sound something like;

Making sure that life and health are distributed to families in their residence by installing, fixing, and maintaining the pipes that works in their buildings.

With which one do you think you as a plumber will feel more motivated, important and even less depressed about doing your job?

PS: I’ve learned this by reading and watching videos about motivation and business from an entrepreneur, meaning that I cannot say this tactic is completely mine. And sorry for not having the actual source but at least you can grasp the idea here from me.

Conclusion

My conclusion will be pretty simple and short. If you’re doing the best you can at one of the most fulfilling jobs, there’s no coworker, angry customer, difficult task or bossy boss that can make you feel depressed, anxious or bad at all about the way you’re making money.

Best Top #1 Advice To Depressed And Broken Hearts

If you recently have broken up, have been single for some time now, could not find a partner to enjoy life with and among this, you suffer from depression. Then you should keep reading because this message is for you!

Some time ago I’ve found the book of Jordan Peterson and the message he spread to people, teenagers and young adults in general. And I’ve found the message he gives to people is quite interesting and works nicely on all kind of situations in life.

In his book “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos” (which I’ll just mention for now) he encourage us to be responsible for our own condition in all situations.

The 12 rules are the following;

  1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back
  2. Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
  3. Make friends with people who want the best for you
  4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today
  5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them
  6. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world
  7. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
  8. Tell the truth – or, at least, don’t lie
  9. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t
  10. Be precise in your speech
  11. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding
  12. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street

From here, having all this information and putting it into practice in our lives we can experience a huge transformation on how we see the world. Knowing nonetheless, that is very difficult to do this while being depressed and anxious in life, that’s why you need to do an extra effort and doing this have much more value in your life!

But what all of this has to do with my love situation?

Fair question, bare with me, because I’m about to give you the best advice someone can give you when you have a broken-depressed heart.

#1 Advice To Broken Hearts

#1 Advice To Depressed And Broken Hearts

The thing is that when you have your heart broken you’re giving your power away to that person who broke it, and this is normal because during this process you feel betrayed and that nobody is worthy of your trust, attention, and love.

But in a way, by keeping this mindset, you too are making yourself unworthy of trust, attention, and love.

The best advice to solve this is to keep on bettering yourself in all areas of your life. It sounds simple, and it really is simpler than you think. What makes it difficult is the grief of losing that one person, the anger of being betrayed by him or her and the blame we do on that person.

I don’t want to sound too hard with you guys, but someone needs to tell you this, you need to take more responsibility for your well-being and not expecting to find happiness on someone else being in our lives because this implies that we cannot find happiness by being alone.

Another reason why I think focusing on being better than your former self is the best advice, is because inside a relationship you must be able to give love (not just take love and discharge all your problems on the relationship) and to be able to do it in the best way, you must be in your optimal condition, meaning that at least you can manage your depression on your own.

Conclusion

The best way to recover faster from depression and break-ups is to focus more on what you can do to better yourself. Doing this will lead you to gain back your power to manage your emotions and deal with this situation better.

I believe this is the best advice anyone can give you during a hard time like a breakup. And with enough time you’ll build for yourself the resilience, self-confidence, and character to overcome all the bad things life will throw you.

Planning Your Way Out Of Depression

Out of Depression

I’ll not say this is a simple task and that there is a perfect plan which works with a 100% success rate because there isn’t anything like that. Everybody is unique and experience depression and anxiety in a unique and different way.

An example could be doing exercise, some people have a physical condition (like back pain) that won’t let them gain all the benefits of doing regular light exercise. In some cases then, doing exercise it isn’t a good advice.

Keeping that in mind, there are certain universal guidelines everybody can follow that can be a benefit in fighting against depression and will help massively on winning and overcoming it.

Some time ago I wrote a post called Thrill of Victory Against Depression and it’s based on how our small success can help us on stopping depression and becoming happy and joyful in life.

In this post, I want to give you a plan to leverage from those small successes.

Get Your Way Out Of Depression By Following A Plan!!

This is practical stuff I want to share with you, you’ll need a pen and a paper.

Start by writing down all the things you need and want to accomplish on a daily and weekly basis.

It could be anything, like eating a healthy meal, a relaxing walk in the park, calling a friend, doing the dishes, laundry, etc, it doesn’t matter if it sounds too simple because we both know that nothing is that simple when you’re worn out.

Now, after writing everything on paper you should organize the list with the bare minimum of things to accomplish, and once you accomplished an item just ✔.

Daily Minimum Of Things To Do

  • Taking a shower
  • Eating a healthy meal
  • Brushing my teeth
  • 20 min of exercise
  • Making the bed
  • Doing homework/chores/errands (being responsible with others)

If you find something to be too difficult to accomplish on a daily basis then you can lower the bar to a more comfortable level. For instance, let’s say you are struggling a lot just getting out of bed at mornings, then you should start with that and when you get the habit of doing it every day, you can add something new to the list.

Weekly Minimum Of Things To Do

  • House cleaning
  • Laundry
  • Go to the Gym (3 times)
  • Getting in contact with friends (3 times)
  • Doing the dishes (3 times)
  • Reading 100 pages of X book

Basically, it’s the same principle but on a weekly basis, things you need to do but are too hard to accomplish for you doing it weekly multiple times, then do them less frequently, instead of going to the gym 3 times lower it to just 2 or 1 and then commit yourself and be accountable on doing it.

Conclusion

Using a similar to do list on a weekly and daily basis I was able to manage my life with great result. And I can say, doing this not only works for getting out of depression but for entrepreneurs who want to start something.

The point of planning and executing this minimum to do list is to build a real sense of accomplishment by ✔ all you can do in one day or week.

Usually, we know what we need to do, but just don’t do anyway it because it’s just too much… That’s why keeping the focus on doing things to the bare minimum, it’s healthier because you feel like you are getting to somewhere in your situation.

After just a month of using this method when you trace back everything you’ve accomplished in that time, you’ll start to feel a lot more in control of your depression and anxiety.

Just stay consistent with this practice and sooner than later you’ll reap its amazing rewards!