With everything new to discover, your body and mind growing to adulthood and boys now checking you out with different eyes, having a boyfriend and knowing how to manage this new kind of relationship… being a teenage girl can be a real challenge, I get it.
Maybe you aren’t sure of asking yourself “do I feel miserable because of my boyfriend or is depression affecting my relationship”? What you really want to know is whether your relationship is making you feel miserable or you’re feeling depressed and it’s now affecting your relationship.
To help you clear any doubt I’ll give you 5 sure signs that you have a toxic relationship and the best thing to do is saying goodbye before you invest more time and energy with him.
1 – You Don’t Feel Like Been Equal to Your Partner in This Relationship
Is he bossing you around? Maybe he has a kind of authority that you cannot deny but you can recognize when someone is using authority to enhance your life or just to make you feel inferior.
Being equal in this case means that both of you have the same level of power and authority over each other. If you don’t feel like being equal in your relationship there’s a sure sign that in the future your boyfriend will take you for granted and stop valuing you as a partner in life.
It’s healthier to have shared power than an imbalanced power scale in love relationships, no doubt about it.
2 – A Partner is Not Your Life but an Enhancement of It
And Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet for him.” Gen 2:18
Guess what, it works the other way around a man is also a helper and your boyfriend should be a helper in your life too. The confusion in a relationship starts when both of the partners want to be together but have different goals and expectations about life.
Best thing to do is always to have the talk at an early stage and be clear about what you want and what he wants. Otherwise, what is the reason to be in a relationship if it’s not going to be a healthy one?
3 – It Is Your All Fault? Or Is He Twisting Everything so It Seems Like It Is?
I think this is probably the worst kind of behavior you can expect from someone, especially from a person that you want to have an intimate relationship with, like a boyfriend.
This is a form of gaslighting and the end result of taking this kind of behavior is to make you feel responsible for everything that is going wrong. But even worse than that is that he can’t take any responsibility for their actions and need someone else to blame.
With this lying, blaming, and lack of responsibility on his part, can you really trust him? can you really feel secure being with him?
Time passes by and you’ll end up fighting depression if you accept this kind of behavior.
4 – Your Boyfriend Has Low-intensity Anger.
Being angry or mad is one thing, but being angry all the time about the smallest things is not good.
If you or your boyfriend cannot manage the anger issues is a sign that there’s not enough maturity. Being angry communicates that we’re not being happy and the anger of someone always is projected onto someone else.
A loving relationship is about being happy together not about someone lashing and discharging his anger in someone else.
5 – Being irresponsible and Don’t Do His Fair Share.
Let’s keep things simple. Putting you down in any form can spark anxiety and depression making you feel miserable, and goods feelings are added with any form of appreciation.
If you are the only one investing the energy and love to nurture the relationship and feel like he’s not doing it, chances are he deep down think this relationship is not working and doesn’t feel like is worthy to do the effort.
This is an element of your relationship that needs attention from both, loving relationships are not made by one, but by two.
Loving relationships can ignite all kind of pains and insecurities (a chance for personal growth). The sooner you face the reality of your relationship, the faster you can get over deciding your next best move.