Some people live and don’t have the intention to walk out the phase of not talking and asking for help because whether they think they can manage their depression or they deny they have it. Whatever the reason, the point is they don’t talk about their low mood or talk just with a really close friend.
In this post, I want to share some of my personal insight about how depressed people see and perceive depression as best as I can.
To do this in the mindset of someone suffering from depression, there are at least two main things that people with depression wish others to know about depression. One is they cannot control their feelings, thinking, and the sense of worthlessness and the second is that they can’t find a reason or the logic on why they feel the way they feel.
Knowing Depression From The Outside By Defining It From The Inside
Depression is being in an eternal existence of beating yourself up for just being alive and wasting it bit by bit every single day. Beating yourself up and not grateful for all the good things in your life because you just can’t appreciate life.
Depression is like having a distant sense of the person you used to be before the darkness invades your mind and soul taking control of your whole being, and as time continue to pass the distance grows and grows making you lose sight of the things you felt. Forgetting how it used to be yourself is like being in another life. Depression is being unable to summon the energy to fight and thrive against the demons lurking around the darkness. That little energy you have is depleted in fighting off the depression and that’s why you can’t go through the day.
Depression is being in an everlasting feeling of disappointment in yourself. Depression is being let down, by every person that surrounds you and by every interaction you have because you cannot feel anything else inside you. Depression is knowing with the reasoning that you are worthy and yet not being able to feel it as being a truth. You know you have a lot of potential but cannot unfold it in your life.
Depression is the struggle being able to look at yourself in the mirror or even think of looking at yourself in the mirror because it’s just too difficult to see your face and not be absolutely enraged by it.
Depression is wearing the fake face mask of smiling and laughing because you don’t want to become that person that everybody feels pity about and always brings everyone else mood down. Depression makes you hate yourself because you feel like ruining every single good thing in the life of other people who interact with and relate to you in any way. This is another reason why depressed people prefer isolation instead of building relationships.
Understanding and knowing depression like this will hopefully clear a lot of misunderstanding on why teenagers and people with depression in general act and feel in a certain way.