How Does True Love Looks Like?

From Pixabay.com

Several times I’ve talked about depression and anxiety, the things we need to focus on everyday to improve ourselves and how we are expressing self-care with these acts with respect and high moral values. But what I haven’t done enough is talking about self-love and neither about true love in a relationship to someone else.

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and around this time we feel the necessity or sometimes the obligation to profess “love” towards our partners with gifts, love letters, Valentines cards, chocolates, flowers, special dates, etc…

On the other hand, people who aren’t in a relationship tend to fall into depression because they think something is wrong with them. I’d like to demonstrate here why Valentine’s Day is not that important to those that feel depressed about it.

Before that, let’s take a look at what love is.

What is Love?

♪ Baby don’t hurt me…

I’ll not go too deep into defining what love is because I think is not something we need to understand with logic but instead with our gut feelings, with our hearts.

One simple and clear definition of Love; a sense of affinity toward something or someone.

A great definition I believe! This one conveys that love is something we feel towards others because we sense that we can relate and open up our true selves. We can deposit our trust and be vulnerable.

Just for the sake of mentioning because I think is an interesting fact about love. Greeks in ancient times used seven words to describe the different kind of loves we can perceive and devote, these are:

Philautia -> Self-love

Storage -> Natural affection

Philia -> Friendship

Ludus -> Flirting

Eros -> Sexual and Erotica

Pragma -> Committed (Married)

Agape -> Unconditional (Divine)

As I’ve said, I’ll not go too deep about what love is (maybe will save it for another post). But hope this basic understanding and the simple definition I’ve just gave you here, will serve you well.

Now, I’ll give you my opinion about what is “true love”, and why if you are single you shouldn’t be depressed about Valentines Day.

When There’s True Love in a Relationship, Valentine’s Day is just Another Day

Valentine’s Day is good in the way to remind us that we need to keep in track, not lose the way of caring and showing the commitment to our partner, that we are interested in being with her/him.

All of this is very important because sometimes we can lose track and forget to nurture our love life, but the way we try to nurture a relationship is by an expensive date, a fancy gift or doing something big to show our significant others that we really love them. And this is not the right way.

I almost can bet someone hasn’t fallen in love with you because you gave flowers and chocolates in Valentines Day. Showing interest? Sure thing! But true love it’s hard to gauge or maybe cannot be measured, not sure about this statement.

What I have pretty clear is that what sets the difference in relationships that have love at its core between those that lack it, is the daily practice of being committed to our partner in the relationship.

The daily minimal and insignificant things that by standing-alone won’t make any difference, but when combined over certain amount of time, it makes all the difference.

It’s not about the intensity because there’s not an exact day in which you can say “I love you” but instead it’s about the consistency. Being genuinely consistent is more about believing there’s something over there with that person and you keep committed to that person and that relationship.

When the two of you do it, you can say there’s true love! And that’s why you shouldn’t be depressed about being single in Valentines Day.

Conclusion

Love is something we all can feel but sometimes cannot explain. Love is not something we need to understand with logic but instead feel it with our hearts.

By having a sense of affinity with your own self, you’ll end up accepting who you are and keep committed toward building a healthy relationship with yourself. And as a matter of fact, it will be the best thing to do before starting a love relationship.

Valentines Day is more about intensity not consistency which is where we can find true love. However, the trick of consistency and finding love, is being genuine with the interest and the actions taken to foster the relationship.

Your True Identity & The New Beginning Ahead!

Last year has ended, and a whole new year has begun. The loud music, parties, the food along with the alcohol has most probably ended for a lot of us by now. The time to go back to “the normal life” has already started and with the coming of a new year most people (pretty sure that at least 99.99 %) has some thoughts about starting something new and ending something negative in their lives. 

Well, I know that some people sometimes won’t recognize what they’re thinking about, but the truth is that with the end and the beginning of a year, we feel a little hesitant about what we’ve accomplished and what we want to achieve in our lives. By thinking in this way, we’re giving a little perspective of who we are and whom we want to be!

Your True Identity

By its definition on Wikipedia (in psychology’s terms); identity is the qualities, beliefs, personality, looks and/or expressions that make a person (self-identity) or group (particular social category or social group).

“A person’s identity is defined as the totality of one’s self-construal, in which how one construes oneself in the present expresses the continuity between how one construes oneself as one was in the past and how one construes oneself as one aspires to be in the future”.

Weinreich, Peter (1988) [1986]

Everybody knows what identity means but I wanted a valid definition to point out something about it. Looking at this definition and relating it with what I’ve said, we can rephrase this understanding as; at the end/start of a year we sense a cycle has ended and a new one is starting now. In this change of a cycle we give perspective to our qualities, beliefs, personality, looks and/or expressions.

Now, for those people who suffer from depression it can feel as a very negative experience because they usually think and feel bad about that if they think this way, then there must be something wrong with them.

So what do they need to do? How do they define their identity?

The New Beginning

The First Step to Take it’s Defining Who You Really Are.

First thing first, realize that your depression (or anxiety) is the one who wants to create confusion and lead you to thinking you are wrong. What I want you to understand is that thinking about who you are and finding your self-identity is a normal process, and is even more common when we are at this time of the year.

Another point I want to remark is that you really care about your identity, if you really don’t care, then why giving so much thought? This search for your true identity it translates in a new beginning in your fight against depression, maybe a new beginning of a business, a healthier lifestyle or even starting to write a book.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”.

Laozi, Chapter 64 of the Tao Te Ching.

It doesn’t matter when you’re going to start but what you want to accomplish must be aligned with your beliefs, qualities and personality. I know this could be hard, but in reality, you always need to start with the first step to begin your journey.

Going Deeper Into Depression

I get that depressed people can’t do anything without feeling… well, depressed. Or not feeling like doing it anyways. If this is the case in you, then depression is deeply rotted in your identity because it lead you to believe it is your true identity when you look at yourself.

Depression got this roots inside because it’s very tricky, believing that you can’t change you’re identity is another trick, a false belief created by it. To start a new beginning you’ll need to take responsability of defining (and redefining everyday) you’re true identity to erase the false depressed identity, keep committed to the identiy you’d like to have and everyday will become a little more your true identity.

Conclusion

Around this time we all make plans and set goals to better ourselves. We feel that a cycle is ending and a new one is beginning, so we perceive our lives must do the same. My advice will be then that we take the perspective of who we are and who we want to be, and align it with what we want to accomplish. Having in mind always that depression is not our true identity but something that wants to create confusion of who we really are and we can change the false identity created by depression.

The fact is that it doesn’t matter when we’re starting a new beginning. But what really matters is from where, and that place must always be who we are today and who we are going to become if we accomplish what we’ve set our mind to accomplish.

Hope all of this makes sense to you… Happy New Year!

The Ultimate Way To Get Through Depression

The other day I was reflecting on the importance of being blessed by God and how God delivers his blessings to people. And while I was researching about it I remembered a Psalm that I knew long ago.

Psalm 1:1-3

1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. 3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

There’s no doubt for me that the best way to find a cure for depression is being grateful for the things that we have in life. And that’s exactly what depression wants you to not feel. Depression wants you to see everything in your life darker, pointless and hopeless. Looking at your life and everything that surrounds it in this way, won’t let you ever be grateful for anything that happens to you.

Getting Through Depression

How Can I Become Grateful, When I Feel So Depressed?

When dealing with depression, anxiety, and any other mental illnesses we need to keep in mind that;
– There isn’t always a reason (or at least you cannot find it) to feel down
– It’s not for the sake to seek attention
– Nobody seems able to help you
– It’s not something to be embarrassed about or ashamed of
– You can’t just “get over it”
– Nobody seems to understand
– It’s not about being lazy
– Your emotions are too strong to bear them
– It’s not easy
But knowing and keeping this in mind doesn’t mean that we can’t find one little thing to feel grateful for. Whenever negative thoughts try to invade you can say to yourself “at least I’m giving my best”
This is the conscious mental effort you need to start doing to get through depression.

The Ultimate Way To Get Through Depression

Go back to the top and read the Psalm 1:1-3 once again. I want to share my insights on this one and tell you why I think is the ultimate way to get through depression.

Psalm 1: 1

With the first verse, we can easily understand that we become those we hang out with. God gives his blessing to those who are not wicked and don’t walk in the ways of the wicked. With this one we can refer to;

“Tell me who you walk with, and I’ll tell you who you are.”

― Esmeralda Santiago

Psalm 1:2

Jesus Christ resumes the Law of God in two; 1- You shall Love God among everything else and 2- you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Reflecting on these laws day and night and learning to follow them in everything we do is a delight for the people who live in a righteous way. These are the people that God give his blessings in everything they do.

Psalm 1:3

Being blessed by God will set up prosperity and abundance. That our leaf shall not wither means that our deeds don’t get dry but instead are full of life and joy for others to comfort their souls when they see it.

Conclusion

The conclusion that I get is that by following God and the righteous way he wants for us, he will transform the environment of our soul into a healthy, happy and joyful environment.

Being grateful will become in us as our natural state no matter what we’re facing at the moment. There will not be any room for depression when we are blessed by God and we know that God is with us because we follow his commandments.

What People With Depression Wish Others To Know About Depression

Some people live and don’t have the intention to walk out the phase of not talking and asking for help because whether they think they can manage their depression or they deny they have it. Whatever the reason, the point is they don’t talk about their low mood or talk just with a really close friend.

In this post, I want to share some of my personal insight about how depressed people see and perceive depression as best as I can.

To do this in the mindset of someone suffering from depression, there are at least two main things that people with depression wish others to know about depression. One is they cannot control their feelings, thinking, and the sense of worthlessness and the second is that they can’t find a reason or the logic on why they feel the way they feel.

Knowing Depression From Outside

Knowing Depression From The Outside By Defining It From The Inside

Depression is being in an eternal existence of beating yourself up for just being alive and wasting it bit by bit every single day. Beating yourself up and not grateful for all the good things in your life because you just can’t appreciate life.

Depression is like having a distant sense of the person you used to be before the darkness invades your mind and soul taking control of your whole being, and as time continue to pass the distance grows and grows making you lose sight of the things you felt. Forgetting how it used to be yourself is like being in another life. Depression is being unable to summon the energy to fight and thrive against the demons lurking around the darkness. That little energy you have is depleted in fighting off the depression and that’s why you can’t go through the day.

Depression is being in an everlasting feeling of disappointment in yourself. Depression is being let down, by every person that surrounds you and by every interaction you have because you cannot feel anything else inside you. Depression is knowing with the reasoning that you are worthy and yet not being able to feel it as being a truth. You know you have a lot of potential but cannot unfold it in your life.

Depression is the struggle being able to look at yourself in the mirror or even think of looking at yourself in the mirror because it’s just too difficult to see your face and not be absolutely enraged by it.

Depression is wearing the fake face mask of smiling and laughing because you don’t want to become that person that everybody feels pity about and always brings everyone else mood down. Depression makes you hate yourself because you feel like ruining every single good thing in the life of other people who interact with and relate to you in any way. This is another reason why depressed people prefer isolation instead of building relationships.

Understanding and knowing depression like this will hopefully clear a lot of misunderstanding on why teenagers and people with depression in general act and feel in a certain way.

How Moral Values Fight And Cure Depression

Being a teenager means that someone is not yet fully developed its maturity, and the character while it has grown and starting to take form, we know it needs to reach its completion too.

In teenagers and children, it is very important to impress the meaning of why we need to adopt moral values in our lives. Without them, society could not sustain in a civilized world and communities will destroy themselves as soon as the moral values disappear from it.

Some of the most common known moral values are:

  • Responsibility
  • Perseverance
  • Honesty
  • Respect
  • Discipline
  • Generosity
  • Acceptance
  • Integrity
  • Compassion

Now, having these values integrated into our way of thinking and way of conducting ourselves in the world is better known as having a “Moral Compass”.

A Moral Compass is what helps us differentiate the good from the bad and we only can have it if we follow the rules of this game. Maybe most people cannot see it as clear as I’m telling you but I think these rules of the Moral Compass have been set by God himself with his commandment of “do unto others as you’d like being done to you”

Moral Values to Fight and Cure Depression

What Having A Moral Compass Really Means To Each One Of Us?

We already know that the Moral Compass is called this because it gives us a direction to follow by behaving with the moral principles comprehended. It’s the consciousness of doing good or bad, being right or wrong, walking in light or walking in darkness.

When you lie to someone about something (no matter the reason) how do you feel about yourself?

Would you be proud and see yourself as someone reliable by cheating on your significant other?

How would you feel if your friend or a relative find out that you took some money from him/her?

Deep very deep down, and I mean really deep down we all know that by doing these kinds of dishonest things we see ourselves as someone toxic and our self-esteem and self-confidence suffer dramatically. In other words, immoral people know what they’re doing is bad and hate what they see in front of a mirror.

Everything said here has been great and I hope you’re getting the idea… but how all of this can help me to fight and cure my depression?

How Moral Values Fight And Cure Depression

Probably now it’s really simple for some of you to see it, but I’ll finish the idea anyway.

By behaving in “the light” and doing the best we can do with our ability right where we are, in a certain way what we really are doing is following the God’s commandment of “do unto others as you’d like being done to you” hence you are loving your neighbor as much as you love yourself!

This is in the more external and societal way of speaking, now let’s see it in a more personal way.

Depression and anxiety is the condition that won’t let you follow this commandment because you think and feel like you’re not worthy of love. This is the upper hand it has over us and lastly, it is the triumph card too if we believe we’re not worthy.

The actual way that moral values fight and can cure depression is because when you behave with morality you’re creating the self-image of someone who values who it is! And this is of huge importance because by doing this our true self-confidence and true self-esteem skyrocket to whole new levels!

Even if you don’t feel and think that you’re a valuable person worthy of love and care you need to act as if you are (you really are) and setting a moral compass of righteousness will help you in developing the right mindset and the right emotions of worthiness, love, and care!

How To Get Out Of Depression’s Genjutsu

This term (Genjutsu) comes from Naruto and even if you’re not a fan of the series you probably have heard about it. A Genjutsu is something of the most basic things to understand in Naruto’s world. I won’t submerge you into complex things about it if you don’t know Naruto very well.

Let’s start then by defining what is a Genjutsu.

Illusory techniques (幻術 Genjutsu) are an advanced branch of ninja techniques (忍術 Ninjutsu) whose objective is to confuse the mind of the enemy by manipulating the chakra, that is, those techniques with which the user creates illusions.

A Genjutsu is known as a created Illusion to confound the enemy. Some common synonyms of Illusion are; Image, deception, fantasy, hallucination, misbelief, fallacy, mirage, etc…

I consider the word Genjutsu as a cool way to say “something is deceptive about this”. And I’m talking for almost everybody in the room by saying that I don’t like to be deceived and prefer the truth even if it’s hurtful most of the times.

I always like to dissipate the Genjutsu in my life and see things as they really are.

Real World’s Genjutsu Scenarios

I will now give you some examples of real-life cases in which a kind of Genjutsu is used toward someone you know or you and didn’t realize it at the time if you haven’t known the scenario with anticipation.

 1 – When someone knocks at the door selling you a special offer of one of the best products out in the market and he simply convinces you that this is something that you must have, and you buy it, but you actually don’t have a real need for it.

 2 – When a friend or acquaintance trying to convince you to do something (like lending some money) that you think it’s a waste of your time and energy (and/or money) because it won’t help them and won’t help you at all, but still you do it.

 3 – Having a relationship of love and care with someone who is “ideal” to be with you because she/he presents you all the traits you like in a partner and you give all your trust, love and care to that person believing that person feels the same for you. But it wasn’t that “ideal” person after all.

I can keep going almost endlessly putting scenario after scenario of Real-World Genjutsu examples but I think you already got the point and have enough amount of understanding to find and define some Genjutsus you’ve fallen for in your own life.

With that said, shall we proceed to how we can get out of Depression’s Genjutsu?

How To Get Out Of Depression’s Genjutsu

Getting out from the Genjutsu of Depression

The Genjutsu of depression will be then the set of beliefs and misconceptions that we think are the truth in us and are truly false.

With the set of beliefs, you know what I mean

  • I’m worthless
  • I’m not trustworthy
  • I don’t deserve to be happy
  • Nobody cares
  • What’s the point of living?
  • It doesn’t matter anyway
  • I feel empty

In the anime, there are 2 ways to get out from a Genjutsu, one is that someone else infuse a little chakra (life force) into us with a touch and the other is by realizing none of what we’re experiencing is real and mind-bend the fallacy we are under with a more accurate representation of reality.

In the real world then, the way we can get out of depression’s Genjutsu is by;

1 – Having someone who infuses into us a little of his “life force” by caring and showing us that the deception we are believing is not more than that, a deception.

2 – Doing our best effort to change our mindset and actually changing it to the right one. This is a great strategy anybody can have to beat depression but is the one that requires more effort and hard work from us.

Now, everybody knows that it isn’t that simple to kill depression in this way but will mean a lot and for someone under severe depression will do all the difference having someone caring and supporting them because they will find more easily the drive to change their mindset to get back their lives.

Conclusion

A combination of both ways, meaning that having someone who cares and giving our best all the time on thinking, acting and believing that we deserve to be happy is the best way to beat depression and getting out of its Genjutsu.

Also, remember that this is not a magical cure and won’t happen overnight, keeping this in mind is crucial. You have to do the work like anything meaningful and worthy in life.

How To Detect The Symptoms Of Depression At An Early Stage

We should already know what are the symptoms of depression but let’s do a quick recap anyways to keep our minds fresh with some of the most commons symptoms.

  • Inability to concentrate
  • Bad memory
  • Disinterest in doing any activity
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Feeling sluggish all the time
  • Changes in appetite
  • Sleeping too much or too little
  • Feelings empty and hopeless
  • Being Sad

For a better more complete list, about the symptoms of depression, you can click here.

What you need to know is that everything that supposes a change in our behavior and mood needs to be checked and compared with how we usually are. But to be honest, when we’re having these symptoms it usually feels like we are already deep into a depressive state.

Meaning that we cannot use these ones as a way to detect depression in its more primal hatching state.

Detecting The Symptoms Of Depression In An Early Stage

Symptoms Of Depression and How to Detect Them in an Early Stage

In this case, I’m talking about the kind of symptoms and signs that usually go under the radar because they have the tendency of being meaningless and don’t suppose a real issue to the people who have it if it isn’t that frequent and intense enough.

You Get Bored Easily

Sometimes you are doing your things and going through the day smoothly and chilling but suddenly without a reason, you feel like you’re bored of whatever you are doing at the moment and feel the need of a rush of adrenaline, otherwise, you’ll be bored for the rest of the day.

A Lot Of Daydreaming

It’s not like it is bad, I consider myself as a daydreamer but the thing is that I daydream mostly on rhymes (when writing a poem for example) and how things are getting resolved for the better.

Daydreaming is like closing yourself into your mind and downgrading the awareness of your surroundings. If you daydream a lot and smile alone for a not external reason (like I do), people will find you to be crazy in a fun way and I think you’ll be okay.

Negative Frame of Thoughts
Why nothing good ever happens to me?

What you’re doing here is focusing on the negative things happening to you more than the positive, which is a propitious environment for depression to develop.

I know this is my fault.

How do you know? How can you be so sure? Taking responsibility for something bad you did is good but if you’re going to take just the half part of the equation and not try to solve it to the best of your ability then you’ll end up in a vicious cycle of beating yourself and seeking new things to beat yourself and just feel miserable

I’m a failure.

Frame this statement differently with this one “Am I a failure?” Instead of taking it as an affirmation try to apply the reversal mindset and look for reasons to negate the hypothesis of being a failure.

Conclusion

The simplest and more effective way to put all of this together I think is by saying that we need to be mindful of the way we think and the way we see ourselves all the time.

With this conclusion, on my personal note, I want to say that this has a lot to do with integrity, discipline and the honesty you have with yourself. All of this I will explain better in a later post, better to stay tuned.

Trust, Friends And Dealing With Depression

The other day I saw a tweet from MotivationalQuotes that says

The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all your flaws, mistakes, and weaknesses, and still thinks you’re completely amazing.

Which inspires me to think about trust, friendship and how those variables can affect depression in a negative or positive way. I even wrote something similar inspired by this quote and put it in an image posted on Instagram.

View this post on Instagram

Truly it is, you have to trust me on this one.

A post shared by LeeSoyer (@leesoyer_tfp) on

To understand better the way I see this let’s start by giving you the definition of trustworthy and having friends when you are dealing with depression.

Trustworthiness and Friendship, How Can We Find It?

Trustworthiness is the value we give to someone we can rely on when we express the truth to them. A trustworthy friendship is then the capability of all people involved being true to each one inside that relationship.

Are you with me so far?… Good!

The first step to finding someone who is trustworthy to us is by raising our own standard of how we see ourselves. We need to stop lying to ourselves and be able to face what is true in us first.

Our way of thinking must match our words and actions knowing always that we can make mistakes along the way, but by recognizing our mistakes flaws and weaknesses is the way we become humble as human beings and can accept other peoples flaws.

The reality is that it doesn’t matter how many friends do you have and how many people admire you and “love” you if you’re not keeping it real with yourself

The next step to find a trustworthy friend is by knowing who are the people around you who are real to themselves and are humble enough to see and accept the flaws of others.

Friends That We Can Trust And Can Help Us Dealing With Depression

A lot of people are concerned about meeting new people, having a big social circle and being loved by everybody, after meeting these expectations, then they try to keep their friends and finding someone trustworthy and caring enough to help them with whatever they are dealing in their lives. In this case, depression and anxiety.

But how many of those friends will help you fight depression and anxiety in your life?

I almost can bet that just a handful of those friends are willing to stay with you while you’re having a hard time and from those that stay with you just a few of them will know how to give you a real help with your depressive states.

It’s a fact that having a supportive and trustworthy friend helps a lot when we try to overcome something because by sharing our stuff we’re getting a relief of our burdens, and in that way, the weight of our soul gets lighter.

With everything said here, a quick definition of trustworthy friends that helps us deal with our depression could be something like; Those special people that walk with us in our lives carrying some of our baggages with them to help us arrive at a better destination.

Trust, Friends And Depression

How To Stop Being Sleepless and Start Winning Your Life Back From Depression

We already know some of the most common symptoms of being depressed.

  • Feelings of emptiness, despair, and sadness
  • Disinterest in relationships
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Loss of interest in previously pleasurable activities
  • Insomnia or sleeping too much
  • Lack of concentration
  • Etc…

Among the most commons and known symptoms of depression, there are sleep disturbances; sleeping too much or too little.

I wanted to talk about this issue of being sleepless and give my thoughts on how to deal with insomnia. This means this post will be for those of you who are struggling with depression and difficulties of conciliating sleep.

Later, I’ll dedicate another post to talk about sleeping too much.

Being Sleepless And Depressed

Being Sleepless And Depressed

Insomnia is known as the difficulty of falling and staying in sleep. This sleeping disorder can trigger and give strength to a lot of other problems and issues like mood swings, lacking the energy to function on a normal day and even hallucinations in more extreme cases.

Your depression can be a lot harder to deal with if your physical and mental energy levels are depleted and you can’t have a full recovery through sleeping.

According to certain studies, approximately a quarter of the population have some kind of sleeping disorder and around 6% – 10% suffer from insomnia. And another interesting fact is that people with insomnia are at least five times more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety too.

The link between Insomnia and Depression it’s widely known, but it’s very likely that the different situations of the people suffering one thing will probably suffer from the other.

How To Stop Being Sleepless and Start Winning Your Life Back From Depression

Being sleepless it’s not something that will go off away overnight with a remedy, pills or therapy. They can help for sure but a whole change in your lifestyle is what you need to see long-lasting results and be able to cure insomnia and depression.

There are certain things we can do every day to stop being sleepless at night and have better rest by sleeping.

1- Your Internal Clock And Sleeping Routines

This refers to going to sleep every night at the same time and waking up at the same time too. If you would like to take a hot bath or do some kind of breathing exercise before that will help you to sleep, the better.

2- Sunlight And Light In General

Having enough sunlight through the day and decreasing the amount of light you receive at night you’ll put yourself in a better mood to sleep. In fact, it has already been proved that if you use a cellphone right before going to sleep, it will be harder to fall asleep.

3- Physical Activity And Being Healthy

Doing some exercise and become fit improves your night sleeping time. The quality of your recovery by sleeping also becomes better by having a healthy diet and pursuing a healthy way of living.

CONCLUSION

We need to understand and know that insomnia it’s not something that we can cure in a few days, but thankfully, if we put ourselves in the best condition to sleep, we eventually will become less likely to stay as being sleepless in a few weeks and that’s what I want you to take from this post I’m sharing with you.

Best Top #1 Advice To Depressed And Broken Hearts

If you recently have broken up, have been single for some time now, could not find a partner to enjoy life with and among this, you suffer from depression. Then you should keep reading because this message is for you!

Some time ago I’ve found the book of Jordan Peterson and the message he spread to people, teenagers and young adults in general. And I’ve found the message he gives to people is quite interesting and works nicely on all kind of situations in life.

In his book “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos” (which I’ll just mention for now) he encourage us to be responsible for our own condition in all situations.

The 12 rules are the following;

  1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back
  2. Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
  3. Make friends with people who want the best for you
  4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today
  5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them
  6. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world
  7. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
  8. Tell the truth – or, at least, don’t lie
  9. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t
  10. Be precise in your speech
  11. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding
  12. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street

From here, having all this information and putting it into practice in our lives we can experience a huge transformation on how we see the world. Knowing nonetheless, that is very difficult to do this while being depressed and anxious in life, that’s why you need to do an extra effort and doing this have much more value in your life!

But what all of this has to do with my love situation?

Fair question, bare with me, because I’m about to give you the best advice someone can give you when you have a broken-depressed heart.

#1 Advice To Broken Hearts

#1 Advice To Depressed And Broken Hearts

The thing is that when you have your heart broken you’re giving your power away to that person who broke it, and this is normal because during this process you feel betrayed and that nobody is worthy of your trust, attention, and love.

But in a way, by keeping this mindset, you too are making yourself unworthy of trust, attention, and love.

The best advice to solve this is to keep on bettering yourself in all areas of your life. It sounds simple, and it really is simpler than you think. What makes it difficult is the grief of losing that one person, the anger of being betrayed by him or her and the blame we do on that person.

I don’t want to sound too hard with you guys, but someone needs to tell you this, you need to take more responsibility for your well-being and not expecting to find happiness on someone else being in our lives because this implies that we cannot find happiness by being alone.

Another reason why I think focusing on being better than your former self is the best advice, is because inside a relationship you must be able to give love (not just take love and discharge all your problems on the relationship) and to be able to do it in the best way, you must be in your optimal condition, meaning that at least you can manage your depression on your own.

Conclusion

The best way to recover faster from depression and break-ups is to focus more on what you can do to better yourself. Doing this will lead you to gain back your power to manage your emotions and deal with this situation better.

I believe this is the best advice anyone can give you during a hard time like a breakup. And with enough time you’ll build for yourself the resilience, self-confidence, and character to overcome all the bad things life will throw you.