Speaking Out Your Depression

I remember when I was younger and I liked to watch the WWE and especially “The Rock” and “Stone Cold Steve Austin” it was like a curfew on Saturday at the time. I was thrilled by seeing them performing their special moves “Rock Bottom/People’s Elbow” and my favorite “The Stunner”, I’ll never forget Wrestlemania XVII.

Nowadays I don’t watch it and don’t have that passion anymore, but that’s OK because people can change what they like all the time and this is more common among kids and teenagers who are still defining who they are and what they want in life.

Even He Fought Depression

I don’t know about Steve Austin but you probably already know that he “The Rock” shared some inspirational words back in 2015 to people who suffer from depression and more recently, last month (March 2018) he opened up a little more about his battle and how he saved his mom from a suicidal attempt.

The reason I’m mentioning all of this is that at that time when I saw him as a wrestling hero at the ring I could never guess or imagine that Dwayne Johnson suffered and fought against depression.

Can you imagine someone that successful and wealthy suffering from depression as he, telling us he suffered? I mean, he is a living legend in the acting and wrestling world.

Had he never spoke out this issue to his fans, and society in general, no one would guess, but he revealed us his struggles and mood state with the saying “I was crying constantly” and “I was devastated and depressed”.

Something To Consider

Now, I want you to go back in time with your mind and imagine when he was younger and no one knew him and ask yourself these questions.

  • What do you think were his thoughts?
  • How about his attitude?
  • What kind of habits he had?
  • Did he surrender to his depressive state?
  • Did he believe that he can achieve something in life?

Now that he is successful and famous it’s easier to see in retrospective the kind of things he did that lead him to his success and I bet that it was not surrendering to his feelings, but actively taking action and creating the habits needed to become successful and wealthy.

Speaking Out Your Depression

Speaking out depression

Now, I hope not being too harsh on you because everybody experiences their depression differently and I can’t say if you have it better or worse than anybody else (including The Rock) but if he fought depression and he knew back then that this pain is real and he overcame it, then why couldn’t you do it too?

I know it’s hard, the pain it’s sometimes unbearable, the stress, the lack of energy… it’s just too much.

If it is too difficult for you to summon the energy to get up from the bed at mornings, to eat something, to take a shower, do the chores, or even brushing your teeth is an endeavor of titanic proportions for you, then you should start by speaking out.

Speak about your feelings, your thoughts, the things that are bothering you and let someone listen to your struggle because you need to take it out of your chest. We humans can take so much but we have a limit and need help from therapists, family, friends and a community of people who knows what you’re dealing with.

That’s what you need to learn and do, don’t keep this feeling to yourself and speak out about your depression because it feels a lot better to start addressing the problem and from there you’ll start to become more assertive in your fight against depression.

Conclusion

If you’re getting too much trouble, dealing with all of this, start by speaking out your problems and taking it out of your chest because speaking and being heard could be one of the best therapy against it (if not the best). This could mean with a therapist, a close friend or a supportive community.

Proceed to create the daily and weekly healthy habits that will help you getting away from depression, with a little time you’ll be able to see yourself with more self-esteem because you’re actively taking action to become better and with a little more time depression will be the shadow episode of your life!

Someday when you have destroyed depression and win back the happy and healthy life you deserve, you’ll be able to say what Dwayne Douglas “The Rock” Johnson is saying today;

“Depression is real, I have fought it, I have beat it, and I know you can too!”

Why A Depressed Mind Likes To Self-Sabotage All Efforts Against Depression And How to Fix It

Self-sabotage and depression

A few weeks ago I was reading a post about a show called Gilligan’s Island. It’s about Gilligan and a group of people stuck in an island, and how Gilligan in spite of all the planning and efforts of his peers to get out of there, unintentionally always find the way to sabotage everything.

In fact, the post is really interesting and I think you’ll enjoy reading it too.

The Problem With My Inner Gilligan

Why A Depressed Mind Likes To Self-Sabotage

Maybe you know self-sabotage as “getting it in your own way”, and haven’t realized that in this way you are not taking the proper actions to achieve your goals and think you are.

Your intention is to get better from depression, but by doing it your own way you probably convince yourself “I don’t think someone will understand me, and how I’m feeling” and with this in mind, you don’t seek help from a friend neither from a therapist.

That’s your mind sabotaging your intention of dealing with depression and anxiety. Another way to say it, that’s Gilligan sabotaging the way out of your depression island.

A depressed mind likes to self-sabotage because it feels more comfortable in the short term doing certain things than others. In the last example, we can say that you don’t want to seek help because it is more difficult talking to somebody about your issues than keeping silence.

Is that feeling of being comfortable now that drives our minds to look up for ways of dealing with difficult situations by taking the wrong but more comfortable decision.

〈In spite of Gilligan always making a mess of the plans to get out of the island he never got lockdown by his buddies because he was the most enjoyable to be around.〉

How to Fix A Self-sabotage Mind Against Depression

The thing is that we usually don’t know how we are self-sabotaging our efforts to achieve our goals and dreams, and that’s why we cannot solve it. But once we identify which are our self-defeating behaviors then we need to lock them up and keep them far away from our plans.

For us to be able of identifying our “inner Gilligan” we need to take responsibility for our decisions and actions in our lives and recognize that our wisdom (doing it our way) is not enough and most probably contrary of what we really want.

〈Gilligan’s friends felt comfortable around him and liked his character and personality that’s why when he wanted to participate in an idea he was accepted notwithstanding his record of wiping out all efforts before.〉

The way to fix a self-sabotage mind is to acknowledge that we don’t know better -but we are willing to learn- and going out of our comfort zone by locking up the self-defeating behavior. From there, we take the necessary steps to stop our mind on its mislead thinking patterns.

It may sound simple and easy to do, the fact is that is not easy, and under the influence of depression, the discipline needed to do this must be even greater.

When you are feeling comfortable with being curled in bed all day and know that there are things needed to be done then at least get out of bed and acknowledge yourself for this great deed because you’re starting to build the habit of getting out of bed when feeling depressed.

Lockdown Gilligan even if you enjoy him being around.

Conclusion

Every time you make a plan to try to escape the island of depression, your mind likes to play and repeat the same thinking patterns that put you in this position in the first place.

We must learn how to shut up our own wisdom (mind) and identify what is the truth to get the kind of success we are desiring from our efforts.

Ask God for wisdom, learn how you’re self-sabotaging and lock down your inner Gilligan if you ever want to achieve something in life!

72 Bad Things To Say To A Teenager Fighting Depression

Sometimes when parents really care about the well-being of their teenagers they try to help by giving some advice or saying something to make them feel better. They don’t mean to hurt you, but their good intentions expressed in the wrong words towards you as a depressed teenager can turn your depression into a bigger burden to deal with.

Some other times they seem like they really don’t care about depression because they show a total misunderstanding of the problem by saying things that convey the meaning of “I don’t believe this to be true”.

What we need to keep in mind is that some of these things can have a different meaning if we put it into the perspective of how much trust there is in the relationship. But in general, these are things depressive teenagers won’t like to hear.

Bad things to say to a teenager fighting depression

72 Things Not To Say To A Teenager Fighting Depression  

     1. Really?

     2. You just seeking attention.

     3. Depression isn’t real.

     4. Stop being such a baby.

     5. What do you even have to be depressed about?

     6. There are people worse than you.

     7. Why can’t you just be happy?

     8. In my times…

     9. It’s just in your head.

     10. You’re crazy.

     11. Just snap it off.

     12. You aren’t thankful at all.

     13. Try not to be so depressed.

     14. Just be grateful for what you have.

     15. What’s the matter with you?

     16. Why are you so depressed?

     17. Look things on the bright side.

     18. I don’t think this is a reason to be depressed.

     19. Just need to have more faith.

     20. When I was your age I…

     21. You don’t seem to be depressed.

     22. I thought you were fine

     23. Don’t wallow in that feeling.

     24. Maybe it’s your own fault.

     25. Keep yourself busy

     26. Be a man/woman.

     27. It’s not the end of the world.

     28. One day this will be something you will laugh at.

     29. You need to be more positive.

     30. I was depressed once too.

     31. Don’t feel sorry for yourself.

     32. You’re imagining that.

     33. You really think you have it that bad?

     34. I never imagined you are one of those people.

     35. You just need to pray!

     36. Who said life is fair?

     37. Is this is your way of punishing us?

     38. It’s not that bad.

     39. I know what you’re going through…

     40. Cheer up!

     41. It’s going to be ok.

     42. You should go to a poor country.

     43. This must be because you’re a sinner.

     44. You’re just being silly

     45. At least you have xyz…

     46. Have you tried taking a tea?

     47. Quit whining about how bad you have it

     48. Take your time.

     49. That can’t be happening.

     50. It always could be worse

     51. But today it’s a beautiful day to be happy.

     52. I have it worse than you.

     53. Make the decision to stop feeling like this.

     54. You only think about yourself.

     55. Just hang in there.

     56. Just relax.

     57. Probably you brought this to yourself.

     58. Just pull yourself together.

     59. Don’t worry too much.

     60. Do you feel better now?

     61. You’re just not trying to be happy.

     62. Things will get better!

     63. At least is better than…

     64. Take it easy.

     65. This shall pass.

     66. Other people suffer from hunger.

     67. If you were depressed as you say you wouldn’t be like this.

     68. Just don’t think about it. 

     69. Just get over it.

     70. It’s just you that…

     71. This is because you are lazy.

     72. It’s not a big deal.

Conclusion

There are hundreds and hundreds of negative things that shouldn’t be said to someone dealing with depression.

Knowing a few of the bad things not to be said should make us a little bit more aware of how to communicate with someone who is giving signs (or boldly saying) of being depressive and how everything just seems worthless…

Instead of saying something, it’s always better to not say anything and just be there giving valuable support, because, teenagers and people in general just want to take it out of their chest but are not sure how to do it.

Just listen and let them know that they’re not fighting depression alone!

Planning Your Way Out Of Depression

Out of Depression

I’ll not say this is a simple task and that there is a perfect plan which works with a 100% success rate because there isn’t anything like that. Everybody is unique and experience depression and anxiety in a unique and different way.

An example could be doing exercise, some people have a physical condition (like back pain) that won’t let them gain all the benefits of doing regular light exercise. In some cases then, doing exercise it isn’t a good advice.

Keeping that in mind, there are certain universal guidelines everybody can follow that can be a benefit in fighting against depression and will help massively on winning and overcoming it.

Some time ago I wrote a post called Thrill of Victory Against Depression and it’s based on how our small success can help us on stopping depression and becoming happy and joyful in life.

In this post, I want to give you a plan to leverage from those small successes.

Get Your Way Out Of Depression By Following A Plan!!

This is practical stuff I want to share with you, you’ll need a pen and a paper.

Start by writing down all the things you need and want to accomplish on a daily and weekly basis.

It could be anything, like eating a healthy meal, a relaxing walk in the park, calling a friend, doing the dishes, laundry, etc, it doesn’t matter if it sounds too simple because we both know that nothing is that simple when you’re worn out.

Now, after writing everything on paper you should organize the list with the bare minimum of things to accomplish, and once you accomplished an item just ✔.

Daily Minimum Of Things To Do

  • Taking a shower
  • Eating a healthy meal
  • Brushing my teeth
  • 20 min of exercise
  • Making the bed
  • Doing homework/chores/errands (being responsible with others)

If you find something to be too difficult to accomplish on a daily basis then you can lower the bar to a more comfortable level. For instance, let’s say you are struggling a lot just getting out of bed at mornings, then you should start with that and when you get the habit of doing it every day, you can add something new to the list.

Weekly Minimum Of Things To Do

  • House cleaning
  • Laundry
  • Go to the Gym (3 times)
  • Getting in contact with friends (3 times)
  • Doing the dishes (3 times)
  • Reading 100 pages of X book

Basically, it’s the same principle but on a weekly basis, things you need to do but are too hard to accomplish for you doing it weekly multiple times, then do them less frequently, instead of going to the gym 3 times lower it to just 2 or 1 and then commit yourself and be accountable on doing it.

Conclusion

Using a similar to do list on a weekly and daily basis I was able to manage my life with great result. And I can say, doing this not only works for getting out of depression but for entrepreneurs who want to start something.

The point of planning and executing this minimum to do list is to build a real sense of accomplishment by ✔ all you can do in one day or week.

Usually, we know what we need to do, but just don’t do anyway it because it’s just too much… That’s why keeping the focus on doing things to the bare minimum, it’s healthier because you feel like you are getting to somewhere in your situation.

After just a month of using this method when you trace back everything you’ve accomplished in that time, you’ll start to feel a lot more in control of your depression and anxiety.

Just stay consistent with this practice and sooner than later you’ll reap its amazing rewards!

Find Out The Link Between Stress & Depression And How To Stop Its Negative Effects

Stress and Depression

I do believe that if you have the right intel about you’re enemy you’ll have more resources to fight efficiently against it.

This time the intel I wanted to gather and inform you about it’s from stress and how it’s linked to depression, in that way we can discover its weak points to leverage them and finally become free from both.

Then let’s get started…

Some Things We Should Know About Stress…

According to medicinenet.com in a medical perspective, stress is “a physical, mental, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and can cause the flight-or-fight response in us.” And according to Dr. Hans Selye in The Nature of Stress, not all stress is bad for you but depends more on how you perceive any “stressful” situation.

Stress can be caused by information overload, lack of control in a situation, having too many choices, lack of sleep, social isolation, crisis, catastrophes, fear, etc. The less control we perceive we have over our lives, the easier stress dominate us.

When we are experiencing stress very often, we become proclive of making decisions in the short term.

Everything that we perceive as a threat can affect our biology and everybody has a different level of tolerance of stress, once it’s exceeded, we begin to break down and what we usually believed and liked can become meaningless to us.

This means that stress increases our suggestibility.

Now, the more in control we believe we are, the more protected we are against its negative effects. In fact, studies have shown that people who perceive themselves as being in control have more commitment to family, work and to being healthy, are less likely to have problems regarding stress.

The Link Between Stress And Depression…

In one side, a mental illness (depression and anxiety disorders in this case) make us perceive everything as worse or even as a kind of threat toward us, at least ten times stronger of what really is.

On the other side, having stress over our bearable limits for a long period of time will end up in us catching some kind of mental illness. This explains why army veterans can suffer the consequences of being at war, they easily develop PTSD.

Being under the influence of depression will make you see everything as a threat, which means you don’t have control over something and lastly will get more stressed and worn out, you’ll need a lot more energy to do any simple daily task, like brushing your teeth.

I believe this a simple explanation for the link between depression and stress and it’s the key for beginning to understand how we can fight it.

And How We Fight It?

Then, how we do it? How knowing this can help us in fighting stress and depression?

So far we know that by feeling we are in control, we will be able to resist the negative effects of stress. We have to learn how to manage our threats so we don’t feel overwhelmed when they make their apparition.

What we need to do it’s to change the perception of threats to challenges. In this way what we are doing is taking back the power of something dangerous to us, by thinking this is something I’ll overcome, this is just one of the many challenges that will come in my life!

That way there’s no reason to feel overwhelmed by the stress because we’re responding in a more positive way, focusing on what we can control rather than on what we cannot.

If there’s not anything we can do to change something we cannot control, then why bother with being too worried and overwhelmed?

It sounds simple but the real answer is, (and I know we have probably heard it a thousand times now) with a positive attitude you can overcome everything that comes in your life!

Conclusion

Mental illnesses (like depression), chemical substances (like drugs), physical and emotional pain can alter our biochemical mechanism (mind) to understand and interpret in a bad way what we perceive with our senses leading us to a state of anger, stress, and fear.

Because we cannot rely on our senses and perception under the influence of depression, we need to seek help, and therapy it’s always the best recommendation.

Now to conclude on stress, it seems that it is neither bad nor good in its nature. But depends more on the situation and the perception (or interpretation if you prefer) of a “stressful” situation.

If we can control our attitude towards everything life throw us, nothing will have a major negative effect on us, we will become stress-proof.

We must deal with stress every day. We need challenges and learn how to overcome them so we can become in the best of what we can be!

27 Best Inspirational Quotes Against Depression When Is Hitting You Hard

When something interesting catches our attention, we like to give more of our attention by thinking and reflecting on its message. We want to rationalize why it is true and how it makes us feel.

That’s what every marketer, comedian, motivational speaker and politician it’s trying to do using different means.

I’m saying this because this is what happens when we find a quote that resonates with our experiences and what we believe to be the truth.

For some weeks now I wanted to put “on the air” some of the best inspirational quotes that caught my attention and can inspire people to become better and motivate them to fight against any obstacle in life, especially depression.

Inspiring Quotes Against Depression

27 Best Quotes to Lift Your Spirit and Motivates You to Fight Against Depression!

     1. “One small crack does not mean you are broken. It means you were put to the test and you didn’t fall apart.”
– Linda 

     2. “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can change his life by changing his attitude of mind.”
– William James

     3. “When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don’t see the one that has opened for us.”
– Alexander Graham Bell

     4. “The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.”
– Juliette Lewis

     5. “Learn from yesterday live for today hope for tomorrow.”
– Albert Einstein

     6. “How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.”
– Rupi Kaur 

     7. “Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald 

     8. “Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting.”
– Napoleon Hill 

     9. “Above all grey clouds, there are clear blue skies.”
– David Longworth 

     10. “The great victory, which appears so simple today, was the result of a series of small victories that went unnoticed.”
– Paulo Coelho

     11. “You wake up every morning to fight the same demons that left you so tired the night before. And that, my love, is bravery.”
– Anonymous

     12. “Sacrifices will make you a martyr, victories will make you a hero.” 
– Amit Kalantri

     13. “In the end, just three things matter: How well we have lived. How well we have loved. How well we have learned to let go”
– Jack Kornfield

     14. “Everything you have ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.”
– George Addair

     15. “At the end of the day, tell yourself gently: ‘I love you, you did the best you could today, and even if you didn’t accomplish all you had planned, I love you anyway.”
– Anonymous

     16. “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
– Martin Luther King Jr.

     17. “I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes, several attack me all at once.”
– Ashleigh Brilliant

     18. “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”
– William James

     19. “The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”
– Confucius

     20. “Try to love and live the question itself. Don’t search for the answer. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
– Rainer Maria Rilke

     21. “We are not to blame for our illness, but we are responsible for our health.”
– Victoria Maxwell

     22. “Even from a dark night, songs of beauty can be born.”
– Mary Anne Radmacher
 

     23. “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”
– Vivian Greene

     24. “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”
– Thich Nhat Hanh

     25. “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”
– Helen Keller

     26. “Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.”
– Greenville Kleisser

     27. “Truly, it is in the darkness that one finds the light. So when we are in sorrow, then this light is nearest of all to us.”
– Meister Eckhart

Bonus Quotes to Fight Depression!

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
– Elizabeth Kübler-Ross

“Every small victory against depression it’s a great victory to win your life”
– Isandy

4 Positive Qualities Most People Fighting Depression Ignore They Have

Positive qualities & fighting depression

While I’m not saying depression it’s a good thing to be proud of because it isn’t, it’s a mental illness and it should be treated.

But, what I’m saying is that the people who fight against depression usually haven’t realized they have some of the most extraordinary qualities we can have as human beings and don’t even know because they have the condition of thinking they’re worthless and seeing themselves broken without remedy.

Depression is tricky, it turns you into a bad narrator of your own story. And you get an idea of how bad you have it when you start to lie with the excuse of “I’m just tired of” being this partially truth.

To lift up your spirit and show you that things are better than you think, I want to share with you what I’ve found are some of the best qualities depressed people have that if they wouldn’t have to fight depression every day, they could change the world!

Most People Fighting Depression Have These Positive Qualities

Introversion

In a world full of extroverted people and with a society that encourages being extroverted as the “way to go” for everything related to success and high-status people, there’s no wonder that introverts are labeled as being something negative. Nothing further from the truth!!

There’s a lot of misconception and myths surrounding this one. Like they don’t like to talk, it’s just that they need something meaningful to say and don’t like to talk for the sake of just filling the empty space with talking for no reason.

Depressive people have the tendency of expressing this kind of behavior too!

Another common misconception is that they don’t like people and prefer to be alone all the time. They do like people, but valuable people who are trustworthy and respect others with healthy boundaries and it’s with this kind of people they love to interact with.

Introverts are comfortable with their own thoughts and they just need to recharge themselves with a quiet time being alone.

To learn more about the misconceptions and why being an introvert is something positive read 10 Myths About Introverts from Creativity Post.

High Sensitivity

Having a lot of susceptibilities or a “thin skin” is sometimes what makes depressive people what they are… depressed. Sometimes you have a reason and you know what it is that is making you feel depressed, and sometimes you can’t explain with reasons why you’re feeling like crap all the time.

It is very likely that when you cannot explain “why now”, is because you have been exposed to a negative interaction, thought or feeling so minimal that it wasn’t perceived on your radar. That’s why you take time to rationalize this feeling to make the most sense of it and it’s frustrating when you don’t find that reason.

Depression makes you feel everything darker and worthless but sometimes somedays something good happens and you feel really good and excited for at least a short period of time. And this happens so suddenly that you cannot control it.

I just had defined you how highly sensitive persons usually react to negative and positive stimulus, the only difference with depression it’s that fills your mind with more of the negative stuff. And have a lot of hard work learning to fill it with more of the positive stuff.

This one brings me to the next item on my list…

Empathy

Empathy is caring, empathy it’s the quality of being able to wear the shoes of others and know what they’ve been through in their lives. And usually depressive people see their depression as being a burden to their families, friends, and anyone that cross path with them.

The meaning of this is that you truly care how others feel, and because you truly care without fakery, your heart gets broken everytime you make (or even just think of making) them feel bad because you’re feeling the way you feel.

To simply explain the difference between High Sensitivity and Empathy is that the former just take how you feel and the latest takes this and how others feel too.

Everybody has a certain level of empathy unless NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is present. But people suffering from depression have proved me countless times they have developed a strong sense of empathy. They’re just focusing it in the wrong way.

But wait a minute. I feel like being dead on the inside, unable to feel any emotion at all. What about me?

Then I’d say that you’ve mastered denying your negative and positive feelings! In Psychology Today there’s an article called “A Link Between Empathy and Depression” that will help you to understand better what I’m talking about.

Intelligence (being smart)

I believe it is Buddhism that teaches it’s practitioners that “emotional suffering inspires us to seek wisdom and understanding on the meaning of our existence”

Well, depressive people are usually seeking some sort of explanation on “why them.” Why they’re suffering like there’s no tomorrow… eventually the introspection intended to understand their feelings better and how things work, leads them to become wiser.

But this is a spiritual approach to this matter. In a more scientific approach, some studies show the results of smart people losing their cognitive thinking (smartness if you wish) as a side effect of depression, you know, like the ability to concentrate in any given task.

There are mixed results from different studies, and let’s not forget that the environment, childhood and character development will have an important say of someone becoming depressive over time.

But I can say by knowing a lot of depressive teenagers who are straight A’s that they are not faking their intelligence, they just happen to be experiencing life in a darker way because of their condition.

Click the link to learn more about the connection between intelligence and depression.

Conclusion

Besides having depression as a mental illness and identifying yourself as someone depressive you shouldn’t take this as your whole identity and remember that there are more inside you than just “being broke”, feeling like an “empty shell” and “falling into the abyss”

Being under the influence of any mental illness or a big trauma will give you a hard time realizing other qualities you might have. The ones that are positive, the ones that need nourishment from you because will lead you to happiness and joy in life.

I cannot say which ones you have, but I can hope that some of these resonate with you because I have learned by experience supporting friends with depression that most of them have these positive qualities and I can bet that with a little introspection, you’ll find that some of them – if not all – always has been part of you too.

Top 7 Tips To Make Friends While Being Depressed

Being depressedAs a teenager, making friend shouldn’t be a difficult task, you just need to find some people that enjoy some of the things you enjoy yourself and share that common interest between you and that person. Sounds pretty easy.

Making friends should come naturally to us because it’s something we as human thrive for and need in our lives, but it doesn’t come so natural. We are social beings and at the core of each one of us, there is a need to feel secure and protected by belonging to a community and social circles.

All of this means that when we’re not satisfied with our social needs, it can affect in a certain way the perception we have of ourselves, leading to believe we are not worthy of belonging and lastly to recluse ourselves and feel even more depressed.

Why will someone bother to befriend me if I feel like a hollow shell on the inside?

Just remember that feeling it’s not your reality, you’re not an empty hollow shell, you’re a human being worthy of love and compassion. The difference is huge because you just need to realize this is the truth and your feelings aren’t facts.

I want to share with you some of the best practices for making new friends while dealing with and fighting depression.

7 Tips to Make Friends While Being Depressed

     1. Find Common Ground

Find someone in school, work or nearby that have the same interest as you. It will be easier to relate to them and they will be more open to you if both of you are talking about something interesting.

     2. Socialization Goals

Add a few goals, (or just one if you feel it’s too much) to your daily task about doing something with someone. It may be something really simple like just saying hi to someone you don’t know and make a question about something they might know. Or maybe a compliment about their clothing and hairstyle.

     3. Volunteer

I cannot address in just a few words here how important it’s doing something for someone without expecting anything back. While you are actively volunteering you will spend time doing something good for society alongside with other peers, this is a perfect environment to start new friendships with caring people.

     4. Non-Socializing-Pressure Places

Nightclubs, bars and that kind of places all have in common that they are meant to socialize with people, either with friends or to meet new people there, but they put too much pressure because of the outcome expected to be funny, enjoyable and charismatic. Best to find some other places with less pressure, For me, a library has done wonders!

     5. Join a Support Group

Support groups exist especially for that reason, giving support to its members. The only thing you need to do it’s to join, participate in their activities and meetings and let your needs be known to them. Probably the easiest way to feel that you belong to something and make new friends while fighting depression.

     6. Set Realistic Expectations

In today’s world, everybody has the tendency to over-judge others and to high-up unrealistic expectations of what is normal. More than a tip, this is a mindset. Don’t judge other people based on how they look like or what you can get from them, instead focus on the interaction that’s taking place right at the moment and try to do your best one interaction at a time.

     7. Don’t Be Harsh With Yourself

I left this one for last because it’s more of a mindset to have rather than a simple tip, and it’s more focused on keeping friends rather than making new ones. This means that whenever you’re feeling that someone is letting you down don’t think it’s your fault, people have lives and responsibilities too. This applies to new friends too, remember, one interaction at a time.

Conclusion

While you may follow all these tips or some of them, it’s not the intention to be a replacement for proper treatment.

There’s no need to say that depression is a nasty feeling we may fight with all our strength to win back our lives. With that said, finding and keeping trustworthy friends while you have depression can be a great therapy to finally beat your depressive moods.

But it can be a great challenge too. The important thing it’s to always take some action (even if it’s minimal) towards the happier healthier version of ourselves we want to be with the mindset of doing our best even if we feel like failures in doing so.

PS: If you find like failing or having it too difficult to even talk and start a conversation with someone else remember that depression needs to be treated by an expert.

The 11 Most Common Kinds of Depression That You Should Know About

I know it’s easier to recognize if you have depression than to know which kind of depression you’re having. To know if you’re depressed you just need to know what is depression and look for the common symptoms in the last two weeks.

To get a better idea of the kind of depression you’re having I’ve compiled a list defining the most common depressive disorders with their unique trait that makes them so particular and different from the others.

11 Most Known Kinds Of Depression

Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)

Kind of depression

When we talk about clinical depression we usually refer to MDD. Major Depressive Disorder It’s also known as “Major Depression” or just depression because is the most known and one of the most common.

This depressive disorder usually comes with a loss of interest in normally enjoyable activities and hobbies, lower self-esteem, and self-confidence in our own abilities to function as normal human beings, a blue state of being (low energy, fatigue), and sometimes emotional pain without a clear cause.

This kind of depression leads you to believe that the situation is 10x worse and 10x bigger than what actually is. From there comes the feeling that we are hopeless and can’t do anything to fight it and cure it.

Persistent Depressive Disorder (dysthymia)

Kind of depression

Dysthymia is much less intense than other kinds of depressions but has long-lasting symptoms, hence the name of “persistent depressive disorder”.

PDD is quite tricky because people who suffer it don’t realize they have it and think that depression and pessimistic thoughts are just part of their personalities and characters.

This is usually the case because they live day by day as normal people do, but a little more depressed than normal people and don’t realize they have a depressive disorder, so they don’t communicate to family, doctors or friends.

Avoidance of stressful situations and fear of failure are common in mild degrees of dysthymia. In cases more severe, people tend to use a self-defense strategy of insensitivity in a long-term period, meaning they don’t get the same thrill of happiness of daily joyful activities.

The nature of PDD is to be subtle and kill slowly but surely.

Atypical Depression (AD)

Kind of depression

It’s called atypical depression because doesn’t have the typical symptoms of MDD or any kind of depression, easy to figure it out.

The atypical feature of the AD is that has a high mood reactivity. This means that when something positive happens or has a potential to happen they suddenly will see the day brighter and the mood improves faster than normal, when the positive situation ends, they usually turn again to a blue state of being, seeing everything grey without meaning.

The AD usually begins in teenagers and is the portal gate to more serious personality and anxiety disorders of all kinds, such as; bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder just to mention a few.

Cyclothymic Disorder (Cyclothymia)

Kind of depression

Cyclothymia means “to go on cycles between your mood“.

If any major depressive episode has been present but there are other common symptoms of depression and chronic states of feeling blue and then feeling shining, then there’s a high chance that person has cyclothymia.

A lot of mood swings is the main symptom of this one but with less severe effects than bipolar I and II. In fact, It’s considered a subcategory of bipolar disorder.

It is rare to find this kind of depression among people, but maybe you could identify some of your friends that you generally think they are bipolar, but don’t show as many signs and symptoms of suffering from a major depressive disorder.

Bipolar Disorder (Manic Depression)

Kind of depression

The swings of moods are much more dramatic than cyclothymia and have more effect on their energy and ability to focus on any given task (attention-deficit disorder). The high and lows are known also as “mania and depression”.

People with manic depression can’t control their fast mood-shifts and in most cases don’t realize the dangers of being too “high” or being too “blue”. As a result of not controlling their highs, they tend to take unnecessary risk, get irritable and behave impulsively. When feeling too low, even deciding what to eat can be an overwhelming task.

Hallucinations and delusions are a common trait too and this is why suicidal thoughts are closely related to bipolar disorder. It is believed that the psychosis is a reflection of their out of order mood.

Bipolar disorder usually gets worse if it isn’t being addressed to being cured.

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)

Kind of depression

Exclusive for girls!

Once a month when a woman is in the second half of her menstrual cycle she has the chance of getting depressed if she suffers from PMDD.

Everygirl may experience their menstrual cycles different but I (as a guy that I am) have noticed that the common factor of every girl is their mood swings, if the stress of being in menstruation is combined with other kinds of stress or anxiety, it’s very probable that will develop this kind of depression.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Kind of depression

In winter there is an increased number of people with fatigue, irritability, and weight gain. These people are experiencing with more intensity the anxiety of the season because of the lack of sun there it is.

While is normal that we may feel a little down due to a cold environment cause there’s not enough sun in winter, experts started to diagnose this “SAD” because of the increased reports of depression on winter and then the absence of the symptoms on spring.

It seems that some people need more sunlight than others due to their sensitivity, lack of vitamin D or something else that is still unknown. If you’ve been diagnostic with SAD, don’t worry, hopefully, it just lasts for this season…

Psychotic Depression (PD)

Kind of Depression

Hallucinations and delusions are a must in this type of depression as everybody should know.

These symptoms of psychosis should happen only while a major depressive disorder episode or a bipolar disorder is active, otherwise, it should be diagnosed as schizophrenia.

After several episodes of major depression is very likely that the psychosis will do his appearance and after the first time of someone being a victim of it, it will keep reappearing making more difficult to be cured and making people don’t believe in their senses and thoughts.

The most common delusions are those of being disease, feeling guilty, being persecuted by an extranormal entity, and being punished for something they believe have to pay some kind of moral price.

Peripartum (Postpartum) Depression (PPD)

Kind of depression

It may happen in first time parents within the first year of the newborn baby and can last for weeks to months.

The symptoms present in this disorder are extreme feelings of anxiety and sadness, the hopelessness of not knowing how to take care of the baby, fears related to hurting the baby by accident, dramatic changes in eating and sleeping patterns, even fatigue and irritability may do their appearance.

By the way, this one is not exclusive to women, it can happen to the father too!

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Kind of depression

Being exposed to some type of trauma such as warfare and sexual abuse, or being the victim of it is the trigger of this disorder.

In kids (because of their innocence and high level of sensitivity) even verbal abuse can develop in the future a PTSD. A teenager with PTSD is more likely to attempt suicide and do self-harm.

I cannot prove it, but I believe that some urban tribes like “emos” which self-harm themselves were born because of the widespread habit of creating trauma on others; ie. bullying.

The most common causes of this disorder are rape, child abuse, life-threatening illness (cancer and HIV on top of popularity), war-related trauma and trauma related to pregnancy.

Situational Depression

Kind of depression

Also known as the “adjustment disorder” or “stress response syndrome”. It’s a lot more common than major depression and its main characteristic is the depressive mood for dealing with a stressful situation.

The common symptoms of the adjustment disorder are an overwhelming sadness, being nervous and worried about facing the situation or event that is causing this depression. If the symptoms are still present after a long time the situation has passed, then it can be considered as the stepping stone to bigger problems.

Usually don’t need any treatment because the event (bad breakup, losing a job, the death of someone close to us, etc) pass and this depression pass with it.

Conclusion

All types of depressive disorders affect how we think, feel, and act, which leads us to feel like a heavy burden placed upon our shoulders to do the normal day to day activities. Some of course with worse and more extreme effects than others.

What I can say by consensus is that each one of us wants a fulfilling successful life and being able to contribute to our society in some sort of way that we may choose. For that, we need to be in our top mental and emotional capacity, and this is where any kind of depressive disorder and mental illness wrecks and brakes our efforts.

If you are willing to give the good fight against depression I’ll encourage you to find the best ways to fight it and use at least one method that you feel comfortable using and your mood will slightly improve every day.

One day when the dragon has been slain you’ll be able to look back the huge challenge it was back then, and how brave you really are because you were able to overcome it by fighting and succeeding little by little every day.

How to Build Your Self-Esteem

“Apart from disturbance whose roots are biological, I cannot think of a single psychological problem—from anxiety and depression, to underachievement at school or at work, to fear of intimacy, happiness, or success, to alcohol or drug abuse, to spouse battering or child molestation, to co-dependency and sexual disorders, to passivity and chronic aimlessness, to suicide and crimes of violence—that is not traceable, at least in part, to the problem of deficient self-esteem. Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves.” 

~ Nathaniel Branden from The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

I cannot say it better, Nathaniel Branden is the author of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem which consist of:

Self-esteem

  1. The Practice of Living Consciously
  2. The Practice of Self-Acceptance
  3. The Practice of Self-Responsibility
  4. The Practice of Self-Assertiveness
  5. The Practice of Living Purposefully
  6. The Practice of Personal Integrity

I’ve noticed that somewhere he made a note saying Self-Esteem is not an idea but something to practice everyday, that’s why all the pillars are called practices. Practicing something means that you need the discipline to do it on a constant basis. An idea, however, is something you just need to know. This is why I think it’s brilliant.

I simply love the topic of self-esteem and the approach that Nathaniel Branden gives in his book is something different from what I’ve seen around. Kudos to him!

I don’t want to shove to you all the 6 pillars and will strongly recommend you to read the book. What I want to do is (for the sake of time and length of this post) to ask you the main question behind each one of the six pillars of self-esteem.

To Build Your Self-Esteem Answer These…
  • Living consciously to me means…
  • Are you able to accept and recognize your own greatness?
  • How much more responsible can you be?
  • Are you the author of your own story?
  • What do you want? What needs to be done by you? Are you disciplined about it?
  • Are your ideals, moral compass, and behavior congruent?

“But does anything take more courage—is anything more challenging and sometimes frightening–than to live by our own mind, judgment, and values? Is not self-esteem a summons to the hero within us?”

~ Nathaniel Branden

There’s much more value reading the complete book but having the answers to these questions will give you a strong stepping stone on building your self-esteem, managing your emotions and beating depression in the long run.

It’s little by little that progress is made and someday we break through, a man walking forward in the darkness is still walking forward and even if he doesn’t know when he will arrive, it’s a sure thing that he will arrive at his destiny.

So… what are you waiting for? You have work to do and the best moment to start is RIGHT NOW!!