How to Build Your Self-Esteem

“Apart from disturbance whose roots are biological, I cannot think of a single psychological problem—from anxiety and depression, to underachievement at school or at work, to fear of intimacy, happiness, or success, to alcohol or drug abuse, to spouse battering or child molestation, to co-dependency and sexual disorders, to passivity and chronic aimlessness, to suicide and crimes of violence—that is not traceable, at least in part, to the problem of deficient self-esteem. Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves.” 

~ Nathaniel Branden from The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

I cannot say it better, Nathaniel Branden is the author of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem which consist of:


  1. The Practice of Living Consciously
  2. The Practice of Self-Acceptance
  3. The Practice of Self-Responsibility
  4. The Practice of Self-Assertiveness
  5. The Practice of Living Purposefully
  6. The Practice of Personal Integrity

I’ve noticed that somewhere he made a note saying Self-Esteem is not an idea but something to practice everyday, that’s why all the pillars are called practices. Practicing something means that you need the discipline to do it on a constant basis. An idea, however, is something you just need to know. This is why I think it’s brilliant.

I simply love the topic of self-esteem and the approach that Nathaniel Branden gives in his book is something different from what I’ve seen around. Kudos to him!

I don’t want to shove to you all the 6 pillars and will strongly recommend you to read the book. What I want to do is (for the sake of time and length of this post) to ask you the main question behind each one of the six pillars of self-esteem.

To Build Your Self-Esteem Answer These…
  • Living consciously to me means…
  • Are you able to accept and recognize your own greatness?
  • How much more responsible can you be?
  • Are you the author of your own story?
  • What do you want? What needs to be done by you? Are you disciplined about it?
  • Are your ideals, moral compass, and behavior congruent?

“But does anything take more courage—is anything more challenging and sometimes frightening–than to live by our own mind, judgment, and values? Is not self-esteem a summons to the hero within us?”

~ Nathaniel Branden

There’s much more value reading the complete book but having the answers to these questions will give you a strong stepping stone on building your self-esteem, managing your emotions and beating depression in the long run.

It’s little by little that progress is made and someday we break through, a man walking forward in the darkness is still walking forward and even if he doesn’t know when he will arrive, it’s a sure thing that he will arrive at his destiny.

So… what are you waiting for? You have work to do and the best moment to start is RIGHT NOW!!